I feel like I'm posting a ton lately, but hey, that's what StepTalk is for, right?! Sorry to be a blog-hog.

Anyway, my fiance's best friend from childhood is living with a girl who has come to be my friend. I'm going to call them Brandon and Heidi, just to make this easier to explain.

Heidi has a 5 year old daughter. She and Brandon have been together now for 3 years. The bio dad is not in the picture AT ALL, just pays his CS and that's it. Heidi is pressuring Brandon for a ring and a wedding within a year. She is dangling in front if his face that he will then be able to adopt her daughter.

Problem is, Heidi can't stand being a mother...95% of the time we have spent with their little 'family', she is constantly bitching and yelling at her poor little girl, saying how annoying she is, etc. She makes Brandon do a lot of the disciplining now because she can't stand her kid, basically. The only time she's somewhat nice to her daughter is when we bring SS3 and SS5 over, who she's incredibly mommy-voice-nice to, then is somewhat nice to her own. Brandon had a long talk with my fiance last weekend concerning their relationship, and mainly the fact that he wants to have a child of his own and Heidi says NO WAY. I don't blame Heidi for not wanting another child as she very apparently is not the happiest little mother. I also don't blame Brandon for wanting his own child (hope this doesn't sound racist or anything, but Heidi's daughter is 1/2 black, so part of his issue we think stems from the fact that she will never 'look' like Brandon's child -- he's blond/blue eyes).

Their problem is becoming exacerbated by the fact that their main couple/friends (me and DF) are pregnant. From the day Heidi found out I was pregnant, she's bought me at least $300 in baby items. She won't shut up about the baby, which is all good and exciting, but it makes me feel really bad for Brandon because he is crushed every time and gets really quiet. He's even made comments to her asking her if this makes her change her mind. She said, "HELL NO! I don't have to PARENT their child but I can spoil it all I want!"

It's a really sensitive spot to be in. I've told Heidi before that if the man I wanted to marry didn't want kids, it would be a deal-breaker for ME. This made her think a little about it from Brandon's side, and she finally told Brandon that MAYBE she'd have another kid, but that she wanted a ring on her finger before she'd make that decision. I know this is just her way to try to keep him, and I truly honestly believe from all of our talks that she will NEVER have a child with him. She's even told me that she'd want to secretly get her tubes tied... I think Brandon should know/realize the truth and that we all can see that Heidi will NOT have a child with him, therefore he'd need to decide whether that was his dealbreaker.

Is it our place to tell him what we think?