Wow! Your story sounds like mines. Smiles. Eventually we ended all relationships with my husbands children. I know. I know. It just doesn't seem fair but fair doesn't happen when you have an out of control parent who could take your freedom. Wow! Wow! Wow! I am way too tired but I can write you early in the morning on what we did and how to keep your relationship. This is just the beginning. She is not done and word to the wise your FH is next! Trust me on that one! I have heard and seen it all. Most of the time when I think of my husband's first family I want to loose my lunch. The thought of those individuals just absolutely make me sick! Wow! Wow! Wow! Chin up! You have God on your side. Just use common sense will dealing with this mess.

welcome... im new here too it's only been three weeks for me....

reading your story reminds me SOOOOOOOOO much of mine including the time frame. all to familiar....
the difference is my divorce is final and his isnt, you have one skid i hav 3 and 3 of my own one of course belongs to BF.

i hope you have a lot of support from john, supporting eachother is key along with good communication.

as for the abuse part i have that thought in my head daily, tht the BM will do that to me. im sorry that your going through that.

BM telling the skid lies and negative info dont worry so much he'll see the difference just by spending time with you. i on the other hand know what your going through there. i have a skid16 and for the past 2 yrd he's been told im the reason his parents arent together, so the kid hates me and he hasnt even met me the other two are soooo sweet... they give me hugs and kisses when they see me...

good luch and hang in there.

Wow hun, I am so sorry that you are in this situation. BM sounds like a pos. I hope that when you go to court they will see the truth and you can nail this stupid b**** to the wall. }:)

Dearest I care! I care because your experience mirrors mine. I care because you and your future husband have rights to love that normally happens once in a lifetime. I care because there is a child in the middle of hostile adult emotions, who basically at this point just want to be loved. And most of all I care because my Father in Heaven enjoys when His children extend emotional support to each other during stressful times. So yes Ms. Carrie Bradshaw I really do care. Smiles.

Wow! On your current situation! A lot for a young woman to digest in the middle of trying to make sense out of life choices. Wow! Congrats on the re-connect! Most people don’t often get that chance, and when they do, it normally does not end in marriage. Smiles. So again, congrats!

Unfortunately, what you have gotten in the midst of is deep unresolved emotional issues from both parents that usually happens during the end of a relationship. Smiles. Yes, it is both parents who are at fault with what is going on at this point, and your love for your fiancé stuck you right in the middle. Been there done that! Oh, yeah! LOL’s. LOL’s. LOL’s. And it sounds like he has become emotionally paralyzed when dealing with his ex, therefore, he forfeited his responsibility to you and probably other loved ones. Yes, dearest he did and his ex knows it. If she can get you out of the picture then she can finish and win the fight! Which is why you are being accused of abuse! Oh, yeah! LOL’s. LOL’s. LOL’s. When I wrote been there done that, I MEAN IT! Remember she was not in the relationship alone, things were said and done from both parties and we as women can harbor hate and seek revenge for a long time. LOL’s. Walk careful because you don’t know what was said and done in that relationship. You are in the middle of an emotional landmine. Wow! Wow! Wow! And to make matters worst you have a wounded mama bear protecting her cub! Wow! Fared the warn, walk lightly and take no wooden nickels from anyone, because you are the most important person to you! Remember, if you don’t do you then you go undone.

I am early 50’s and I have only seen one divorce come to an end that gain my respect. I remember when my cousin got his divorce from his ex, family members wanted to go and beat her up (lol), they wanted to make sure she got nothing (lol) so forth and so on, but my cousin who was young told each family member to stay out. He knew they loved him from all their wrong helpful choices (lol), but it was between he and his ex wife to finalize the end of THEIR relationship, and once that relationship ended he and his ex were able to move on, but they did not have children. Perhaps if children had been involved it would have ended differently, but I doubt it! He is such a neat man. He has often gain my respect when it came to matters of the heart. I am so proud of my cousin. He is quite the man and his second wife totally agrees! LOL’s.

As I continue to be married I am learning why my husbands ex could have been very vengeful. LOL’s. I love him, but now understand she was not all the problem as to why their relationship ended. His ability to pass his responsibility to others probably played a big part as to why my husband and his first wife had to call it quits. She (my husbands ex) was right when she said he is out to lunch! LOL’s. LOL’s. LOL’s. Because he is out to lunch on many things. And tends to bury his head in the sand when things are out of control. LOL’s. LOL’s. LOL’s. That could drive any person to drinking. LOL’s. LOL’s. LOL’s. Other words, now that the romance is over and we have gotten on with living, I have come to the conclusion that my wonderful sweet husband played a big part in his divorce directly by being overly passive. And when I came along, though they had been divorce for many of years, the divorce was still fresh because my husband passiveness. What she wanted was a feisty man who could stand up and defend her honor, but what she got was a man who had been emotionally beaten into submission for everyone to abuse. Sad! She went as far as cheating to bring about his manhood but he said nor did anything to recapture her affections. He willfully gave her a divorce. Signed over all his rights to their children and began to live a life of misery. It was as if complications from their divorce had been vacuum sealed and my presence became the scissors that cut the nice dramatic package open. LOL’s. I found myself in the midst of two people who once loved but hated the other for reasons only known to them, and the children became the pawns to bring about vengeful desires that had been unearth because of my presence. Though what was transpiring was not my fault, I felt a heap of guilt!

You are right when you refer to her as psycho. She is! I just hope temporarily! LOL’s. Most mothers when they feel they are loosing control over their young do become psycho. Many of us don’t like to admit it but we do become temporarily insane with being protective, and matters become worse when a new woman enters the picture before separation issues are resolved. So act cautiously when dealing with her child. Did you read about the symptoms of Parental Alienation Syndrome? If you didn’t, I strongly encourage you to do so; for in doing so you can see she is just a mama bear with misplaced emotional issues. Smiles.

Carrie she is not trying to ruin you because she hates you. She doesn’t even know you, but she does know the man you are going to marry. Smiles. And as far as she is concern you have stuck your noise in their business without knowing the truths of the matter, and she wants you out! Remember there is a thin line between love and hate.

My suggestions are:

1) Allow your future husband to handle his own divorce and custody matters,
2) you stay in the backdrop and give unbiased opinions when needed,
3) and most of all get your divorce on the way.

I’m afraid if you continue on the course of being so helpful in your future husbands affairs you are going to loose everything you worked for personally, and then all will have become for not. Smiles. He can handle it! He might get upset every now and then but he can handle it!

Not sure why you would want to take this woman’s child. Kind of puzzled by that remark. Is she a mom that makes bad choices? Is the child in any real danger? Has the child displayed any long lasting emotional harm? Has the child been beaten? Are her parents out of the picture? Out of concern for the child, why are you and your FH going to take him from his mommy? She must have some redeeming qualities if you adore her child to pieces, because usually children are the product of their environment. Smiles. So, again, I ask why would you want to take him from his mommy? Please rethink that choice for the child’s sake, and put yourself in her place even if she has made herself an enemy. My children’s dad wanted me to give our 15 year old to him and his girlfriend, because she felt he was paying to much in child support. I told him that I would be willing to give them my child, once they had a child of their own and would commit to giving me that child. His immediate response was “not going to happen.” LOL’s. Thought so! Children are not toys. They are people! And often parents make mistake during the onset of separation concerning custody that children must live with for a lifetime. Sending warm gentle smiles. So, I beseech you to rethink your choice of taking him from his mommy, things could get nasty for everyone, and the one who will suffer the biggest lost is the child.