have been together 7 years and married almost 4. Bm and her husband have been married almost 5 years (I think) not sure how long they have been together. Anyway, our situation was a little different. SS lived with us before Bm got married. She was only an EOW parent for 2 years. Once she got married, she thought since she had a man, she was more capable now of being a real parent. So she started all kinds of crap and sent letters from her lawyer filled with lies. Drama, drama, we decided it was easier to just let her have the kid and make the decisions and have total control than us dealing with her. I know that might sound bad, but for us (DH and I) it was best. She took SS and we moved to another county. Now that she has both kids and pretty much all our extra $$, she seems content. Seems anyway. She does not bother us like she used too, in fact, she finally got it through her thick, frizzy head that DH does not want to tak to her at all. SD basically calls for her or DH. Anyway, I guess you could say it improved for us but the only reason is because we did not fight to keep SS. All that just so happened to be the time she got married. Interested to see if she changes her tune when we have a baby.

Our BM is getting married shortly, and it has improved a little. Hubby has skids EOW, but before she was always coming up with events they just couldn't miss that only she could take them to that would whittle down our time with them to less than a day. Now I think she realized that she gets no time alone with her fiance and we get the full weekends with no or little fuss. She's also been more willing than ever before to let us have extra time when we ask for it. The only down side is that she's shoving her fiance and his family down the skids throat, and we've been dealing with some behaviour problems because of it. Also, before she got engaged her life revolved around the skids, but now that she has another focus the kids aren't getting the full focus of her attention and that is something they're not used to from her, and we're having some problems with that too, not that she'll ever admit to any problems having to do with her side of the family and her decisions (according to her we're the only ones who ever make bad decisions or cause any bad behaviour from the skids - in other words she thinks she's perfect - ha!). So it's been good and bad. The bad has just mostly come from the skids trying to adjust and BM not admitting that they need to. But all around it's been better. Plus, the guy she's marrying is nice and normal (I have no idea how she managed to keep him) so that can only be a benefit to the whole dynamic.

when BM has a boyfriend. She suffers from a mental illness though so she isn't able to maintain relationships. She dives in with both feet everytime which means that her front door is a revolving one. She mutates into whatever her BF is at the time so if he's decent (which only happened once), she acts decent. Otherwise she'll throw it in DHs face that there is another man in his daughter's life...listing him as an emergency contact and not their dad. That sort of thing. She's just dumb and I just shake my head at her anymore....

Bm just dumped her BF for the upteenth time and now has latched onto DH with her woes of life. Her latest is that her car needs repair and her ex was supposed to take care of it and she just doesn't know how she's going to take the girls to school everyday.....So for me, I can't decide what I dislike more...

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

the witch is dead was the song we sang when the biomom got married! She concentrates on her hubby now & not just herself. It keeps her real busy.

My skids bm recently remarried (in Oct.), one week AFTER marriage she moved in with her new hubby, 2 weeks later he kicked her out and around Christmas Eve she moved back in.

Things have NOT calmed down and unfortuantely I don't think they will regardless of whether or not BM is in a relatioship. BM is a disease and eventually destroys anything and everything including every poor sap that enters her life. Its only a matter of time before this most recent mockery of a marriage implodes and BM is off to another man.

HOWEVER;

I am also a BM and when I remarried I have to say that my DH did calm me down quite a bit. My ex is lucky because my DH tells me straight up if I am being a bitch or if I am wrong in whatever the issue is with my ex. My DH also takes the time to communicate with my ex (I really don't have the patience for him) so DH will speak idiot to him and then tell me where the hell he is comming from so that I can respond accordingly.

Hopefully, this is the case for you and everything will work out well for everyone.

BM is FAR from being married. Although, I have sources that say she's visited planned parenthood a couple of times. When BM has a BF, she's more mellow. However, when DH and I first got engaged...we had a little talk about extended family. When I said "someday, IF your mom gets married.." SD cut me off and said "NO, that's not going to happen. What if the family doesn't like him? I won't like him....it's going to be me and her forever" I even heard stories about BM not telling guys up front that she has a daughter.

So, SD is a little obstacle to BM becoming serious with any guy (I think)..plus, asides from DH, her track record sucks (the quality of guys). So, it's very interesting hearing other folks' stories

DH and I have been married for 13 years and BM remarried about 11 years ago. SHe still calls DH 5-20 times a week, emails daily and is so intrusive that when we moved we had to get an unlisted phone number, REFUSED to give her DH's office number, work email and his work cell.Then she demanded my cell and work numbers which we refused to give her.SHe calls in crisis at least once a week,dumped the SD16 on us when she was mad at her for skipping school then changed her mind so the kid will go back on this week to live with her.DH and I had a serious discussion about how we will handle the soon to be coming phone calls when the crisis begins again. I had to put my foot down about what we will do. I just can't take the ongoing pacification of this manipulative woman anymore. If she acts up and she will, then we will refuse to engage and get a good lawyer to fight her financial retaliation called CHILD SUPPORT. Good thing I am working.