Been told to leave because I said no to sd
Here i am at my sister house after being put out by my hubby last night. There was no school for step daughter 16 last friday. I was off from work this week Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Friday afternoon I see these two girls and a boy come into my house.and they all head directly to sd room and shut the door. I look at him and say "um, who are all these kids"?.. so he says they are sd friends and the two girls are staying the night. I was upset as he never asked or told me about it. All day long these kids play very loud music, eating us out of house and home, all of them leaving dishes in her room, and being extremely loud. The boy leaves at 12 oclock in the morning and sd and her friends continue to stay up all night being loud and playing loud music. I told him at 1 oclock to please go in there and ask them all to quiet down. He gets up and tells them to be quieter. As usual, sd doesnt listen and carrys on with all the noise. As usual, he rolls over and tries to sleep. doesnt enforce any rules with the sd.
I am very upset at this point so I get out of bed and go out in the living room and watch tv. When all the noise quiets down I finally fall asleep on the sofa. I woke up later and went into the room and went back to bed. He gets up and tells me we are going out for a drive.
I told hubby he needs to set some house rules for sd. I really though we were getting somewhere with our talk. By the time we get home sd has already invited her boyfriend back to the house. I am fit to be tired as again she doesnt ask and believes we are living under her roof and that we follow her rules. me and him start argueing so he goes out and gets a pint. I told him at five oclock all the kids are going home. he agrees and texts sd to have all the kids be gone by 5.
At 4:50 sd tells hubby they are all going out for a walk. The sneaky little bitch texts hubby outside with her friends and has the nerve to ask him what I am cooking for supper tonight because they are all coming back to the house at five? He tells me and I look at him know he has had a few and tell him he is to tell her to send her friends home and I am not cooking any supper tonight. She continues to text him and she will not take no as an answer. He throws his phone on the coffee table and goes into the bedroom.
Sure enough at 5:15 sd comes threw the door with all her friends and continues on to her bedroom. I looked at her friends and I told them nicely. Im sorry guys you are all going to have to go home. They all leave and sd marches into the bedroom screaming and holloring at the hubby that i was rude and threw all her friends out. he comes out of the room and lights into me. Giving me dirty looks and being an asshole screaming at me. Sd stands there with him big old grin on her face. Then he tells me were done and to get out of the house.
I start screaming at himand sd stands right there crying see how mean she is daddy. I started packing a bag and she is in the room texting her friends. I told him I am tired of his kid running my house and i am an adult and she is a kid and i will not be living by her rules and i hope the two of them live happy ever after and I left.
I was outside waiting for my cab and as i was there i seen her friends and the boy all heading back into my house. I know he was passed out in the room last night so the kid had the run of the house all night.
I left most of my stuff there im sure step bitch has already taken most of my make up or used it .... helped herself to all my stuff ... i need my pills and I start a new project monday at work so i need my clothes etc. I dont even want to go back into her house and have to look at her damn face smiling at me and her attitude like " oh the bitch is gone "
I am at my sisters but she does not have the room to keep me here. My parents are both dead and my other sisters live to far away. I cannot lose my job over this as i have already paid my share of everything at my house. I just cannot make myself go back into that house while sd stands there smiling at me and wearing the crown...
Thank you for letting me vent this man has literally hung me out to dry 
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I've read over your last few
I've read over your last few posts and you've been wondering why you stay for a while... Maybe it's time to consult a lawyer of the pit bull variety? You want to be sure that your rights are protected and that you get your fair share of everything in your divorce.
Yes, find an attorney. If
Yes, find an attorney. If you have a joint account, you can take out half of what is in there, just get clear documentation of what was in there before you take it. If there is nothing in there, you are still entitled to half of his income (as he is of yours), so he can't just sit on everything and refuse to give it to you.
Go to the house with the police to get your stuff. I think Canada is even more protective of women's rights in a divorce than the US, so this should not be a problem for you to convince the police you need the help, or get the money you are entitled to.
Please don't reconcile with him, this guy is a drunk and a jerk. Get out and find a better life. Can your sister loan you some money to get through the next few days and find an attorney?
I’m just lost for words
He made an executive decision to let strangers in your home till early hours of the morning screaming shouting loud music etc. He never respected your privacy 1 bit, this man does not respect you at all
even when my inlaws are coming over like fil/elder sil when we have a family wedding/event in our town hubby tells me a day or 2 in advance but they’re ok and usually play with our kids and help tidy up etc..
if hubby invited other inlaws over and they just expect you cater to them i say no and i tell hubby to handle it and breakfast for them because i am busy with 2 toddlers.
in the 4 yrs i married hubby only
once a friend of ss20 came over which hubby mentioned and he stayed during the day (apparently homework). But left in late afternoon, there would never be a ss asking hubby what am i cooking for dinner for them because hubby knows thats our private time
RUN!!!!
it doesn't get any better...take it from me. they just get older, fatter and more beligerent.
If it were me I would rather live in my car
Then with them. Surely your sister can let you stay a week or two . You should check ads for sublets. People needn't to get out of their rentals and you just step in and take over their payments . There is I First, last and deposits . Or look to rent a room in someone's home for the short term
I am sorry.
I am sorry.
I am sorry your out of your home. I am sorry that you probably feel at a physical loss.
What I have leared along the way is:
Sometimes the things we think are awful are actually a gift.
Get a good lawyer and please do not look back on this one.
**I really think in the long run this is a HUGE gift**
Thank you for all the awesome advice
He texts me Sunday morning after he slept it off. Asking me when I'm coming home ? I replied I'm not you threw me out remember? I told him I would be by later to pick up my pills and clothes. So he pulls up in my sister's drive way. We sit out on the driveway talking . Told him I am not living under sd roof anymore nor will I be following a kids house rules and paying to do so. He offers to drive me back to the house to get my things. We get into the house and he calls sd out of the room. Right in front of me he calls her out. He told her things will be changing Here. He listing off everything that needs to change. She loses her shit starts screaming and holloring . He quickly puts her in her place . She looks at me and starts shooting her mouth off at me. I told her I am an adult you are a kid you will not speak to me like that. The hubby backed me up . Wow..she then looks at him and says I can't believe you are listening to her bullshit and picking her over me. He told her she is never to speak to me that way and told her to stay in her room all day. She keeps coming out shooting her mouth off at him and screaming. She's finally calmed down and allowed to come out of her room. He asked me to not leave because things will be changing around here. She goes out to her friends and he tells her supper is at five of course she texts him at 5:30 and says she's on her way home. She came three the door at six. He told her we already ate since supper was at five and if she was hungry to go make herself a sandwich because no one is cooking anything for you. She texts her father from the room and asks if her friend can come over for awhile. He tells her to come out and ask me if it's ok. I'm like sure for an hour then your friend is leaving. The friend comes over and she's sitting in the room more then and hour. He goes in and tells the friend to leave so another shit show starts. Thank you for all your awesome advice . I have decided I have no choice but to stay here until I can get money saved to get out. I'm only paying my share and no more. No more cleaning ...No more cooking ...and I'll take any overtime I'm gave to add to my exit plan. This kid is a real piece of work. She will continue trying to run this house . She will not follow rules..even when she is told no she doesnt listen and will do what she wants anyway.. when she's confronted and told no the screaming holloring and running people down will start. What do I have to lose ...I'm done with her shit.. No more miss nice step mother.. my only goal is to get money in the bank ...find a place ...and exit this shit show ):
Sometimes all it takes is for a real shitshow to happen
beforwthe bioparent admits fault and puts kid in their place
the screaming and you choosing her over me... thats a typical narcissistic manipulation tactic. Skids will use it till they’re put in their place and know that shit won’t fly anymore.
Just remember in future, its ok to tell your partner to use common sense, he doesn’t need to refer back to you if its ok for sd friends to come over. So if she has been rude and disrespectful, bam she lost the privilege for friends coming over. Your partner doesn’t tell you or puts you in the spot to make that decision because they know if they say no that you’ll be blamed instead of them dealing with it... its called gaslighting so make sure he knows he should deal with it...
but its great he told her she was late for dinner on purpose which was rude so bam no dinner
With the disaster s***show
With the disaster s***show she put on. I wouldn't have even let her think about going to a friend's or having one over. Grounded for bieng a little s*** comes to mind...
I'm glad things went down
I'm glad things went down like they did this weekend. It was a real eye opener ... There I was sleeping on my sister sofa with a bag of my stuff stuffed into her hallway closet...I really had time to let it all sink in ...why did I give my all to this man and his spoiled entitled princess and leave myself with nothing ...here I am on a sofa ..with no money ...No where to go ...because I was to busy putting him and his bitch first and leaving myself with absolutely nothing ....Thank you all again for helping me open my eyes... I guess some people need a good reality slap before they wake up and finally get it
Good for you - and especially
Good for you - and especially for realizing you still need to make a plan so you can get out if you need to.
I'd also be concerned about his drinking, too. He seemed to have blacked out the other night and that's not good. I don't mind someone having a few drinks, but he sounds like he's well past that. He gets nasty when he's drunk and that would be a deal breaker for me.