I thought about packing up DH's things and telling him he no longer lives with me. Yes, I hate SD(12) so much that I actually considered giving up my marriage just to get rid of her. Not just SD of course but BM and the way DH deals with them. Even though I am still mad as hell I realize that she does come only 1-2 nights per month and I will just try to stay out of the house rather than give up on our family. What led to this?
Friday night- SD was at our house for 1 hour before she decided to go to her cousins for a sleepover. DH said "I can't say no to her, we'll all pay if I do". So, she was gone until Saturday at suppertime. She walked into the bedroom when DH was and then came out to the kitchen and got a cookie. I said "Put back the cookie, supper's ready". She said that her daddy told her she could have one and proceded to eat it and give me snotty looks. I just ignored her as usual, she took off to her room with the phone and called BM to tell her that I wouldn't let her eat a cookie. BM then called DH and screamed at him so loudly that I could hear the conversation 15 feet away. He actually sat the phone on his lap and didn't respond but let her yell for 10 minutes or more. When she was done he picked the phone back up and I heard him say "ok". He told me that he had to take SD home right away because that's what BM said to do.
The issues I'm having

1)Why in the heck did he take SD home? Isn't that rule #1 in fighting PAS? SD now feels like her mom rescued her from us and that can't be good.
2)Why would you let anyone screan at you for that long? I have had run ins with her before and I cut her right off. I say "I will hang up if you can't be civil". I have hung up on her before and she knows that I will do it again so if she really wants to talk to someone in our house and I answer she knows to be civil or she will get hung-up on. You teach people how to treat you!
3)Why when SD destroys property or is being very unresonable am I expected to keep my mouth shut. I am not to utter one word about the holes in her walls or my shampoo she dumped down the drain. I find this odd especially as you want to address every little thing that my children do.
4)You say that I am your first priority but when I think I may get ulcers from the stress of it all and you won't talk to me or address issues with SD I really don't see how that is putting me first.

I'm sure I could think of more to say but I am quite exhausted just thinking about it. I just really hope she doesn't come this weekend. She has been coming for Friday night usually 2 times per month and it seems like that 24 hours drags on for weeks.