BM told me she's over DH.
I called her last night to pass on some juicey town info..... 
We got to talking about Christmas, etc. She talked about when DH was in the hospital. She told me she was scared. She also told me that she didn't feel what she thought she would. She didn't feel like "I should be the one by his side through this, NOT her". She said she was worried, for her girls, for me...and my children. But not for herself, not at all. She said at that moment she knew it was over, her feelings for DH were gone.
I think she was being honest.
She's a pretty tough cookie. She's been through alot with him leaving her, etc. He was with her for 50 million years.......he did everything, she never had to do a thing. When he walked out the door she had to learn how to "live".
I'm proud of BM.
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SMJ!! I love this! I
SMJ!! I love this! I think it's the perfect example of someone having that "ah-ha" moment!
I hope this continues the improvement of your relationship with BM. And when things slide - because we are all only human - just remember this. It might be her having a bad day, or feeling something for the moment and taking it out on you guys. Like we do on here with each other sometimes! But it sounds like she gets it now.
I'm really happy for you!
Wow! A Christmas MIRACLE!!
(I think you guys are going to have to put up with my stupid and bad Christmas attempts at humor for a while.)
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
Wow....and you complimented
Wow....and you complimented me the other day?? I don't rock...YOU ROCK! That is so cool you're able to communicate with your BM that way!
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
Stick, you'll be amazed at
Stick, you'll be amazed at this one. But I finally said it to her....outloud. "BM, I'm sorry for the things I've been a part of that have hurt you, damaged your marriage, and even your hopes for the future. If I could go back and change things I would do it all different, you're a good girl and I'm sorry for ever having hurt you."
She said in return "And I'm sorry for everything I've done to you and DH. We both had issues, we are working through them. I think it says alot about the people that we are to be friends, not saying that you want to be my friend.....
I cut her off and said "you're pretty much my favorite person right now". She said "And you are mine".
How freaking cool is that?
I am just proud of her.......and I'm glad that I FINALLY said to her what I've been feeling for a long time. I think she's a tough girl, she's pretty, she's smart, she's down to earth.....who ever ends up with her will be a pretty lucky dude.
And don't worry Stick......when she's shows her rear next time I'm going to blow it off.....I refuse to let anything stop what we've started building.
"If you don’t adapt and look within yourself, you’ll just keep wading in that stagnant poisonous pool of stepparent hell." author: BitchBitchBarbie
That's awesome! I'm so
That's awesome!
I'm so proud of both of you! You are both amazing.
That helps in relieving some
That helps in relieving some of that BM stress doesn't it?
Our BM has cut the calls down 99%. She lets the kids call to share theirselves (when they bother to at all) and she doesn't call everytime there is a little problem. That has relieved the nagging in my mind of whether she would be able to move on with her life, or was she gonna be smack in the middle of it all the time.
It would irk me that BM would call BF about her problems but it didn't cause meltdowns like others. My husband of 20yrs passed away and the hardest part about the aftermath was I didn't have that someone to share the good or bad things with. You know, someone that had been there right beside me thru the years. So I understood that when something happens, you automatically pick up a phone and call the person you were used to sharing with.
I loved reading this... and
I loved reading this... and from the bottom of my heart.. I am so happy for you.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Thanks CG. You are the
Thanks CG. You are the person, and you alone, that I owe thanks to for "humanizing" the beast...BM. You put a thought in my head that I never could get out.....and I'm very glad for it.
"If you don’t adapt and look within yourself, you’ll just keep wading in that stagnant poisonous pool of stepparent hell." author: BitchBitchBarbie
Wow. I'm impressed, SMJ.
Wow. I'm impressed, SMJ. It takes a big person to rise above the pettiness and take the moral high ground. There's no way Edith Bunker would ever even converse with me, let alone come to the point of mutual respect you have achieved. At least right now, anyway. Maybe your story will inspire me to work towards at least some positive regard for her. Especially in the future, when her children have (hopefully) gotten over their hurt over the sh*tty situation we're all in. Thank you for sharing this.
What a feel good moment!!!
What a feel good moment!!! This is what I like to log on and read!!!! Very happy for you Jen!!!
This is, perhaps, the most
This is, perhaps, the most wonderful news that I've ever read on here! I'm so happy for EVERYONE in your situation. It's an amazing feeling for both sides to be able to get along. I'm finding that my entire family is much happier when possible future SM and myself are happy with each other!
Great job on your end!!!
“Every truth has two sides; it is as well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either”~Aesop
See you guys, it is
See you guys, it is possible. I'm so happy to be a "happy" ending here. It is due to everyone here helping me grow. For that, I give everyone at ST, and ST itself (which is Dawn and Admin) thanks. Huge thanks.
"If you don’t adapt and look within yourself, you’ll just keep wading in that stagnant poisonous pool of stepparent hell." author: BitchBitchBarbie
Wow,,, its rare but it does
Wow,,, its rare but it does happen. Congrats!