Hey BMs: Did you and/or did you help your children recognize SM on Mother's Day?
Just wondering. I know many on this site have BMs that are atrocious and we wish they'd crawl back under the rock they came from (myself included), but for those of you that are BMs yourself, I'm just wondering if you did anything to recognize your children's SM.
This year, I have an even greater appreciation for my children's SM due to BM's renewed interest in SS13 and the havoc she causes. She (SM) recently married my kids' father, but has been involved for the past 5 years and living with them for about 3 or 4 of those years. My BM is a POS and CRAZY and causes us nothing but trouble. I would never expect her to say thank you to me for everything I do in raising her child, sending him to private school, buying his clothing, cooking his meals, providing him opportunities, etc, etc. In her mind, I'm just some evil wench that picks on her kids 26 days of the month.
Anyway, this year, now that MY bio's SM is "officially" their SM, I picked up a card for her, had one of my son's pick out an orchid for her and we (bios, me and DH) dropped it by their home while we were out on Sunday evening. Her and the exH came outside to say thank you as me and DH waited in the car while my kids wished her a happy mothers' day.
Later that night, exH sent a thank you text and said that SM had tears and it was very unexpected. I told him that the kids love SM very much and that I'm appreciative of what she does for the kids and her commitment that she has made to help him raise them.
It was nice and I know it went far in both of their eyes. AND, more than anything, it teaches my children that she is absolutely someone that should be recognized. I think my exH does MOST of the parenting in their home as she has never had children of her own nor does she plan to, but she is a positive presence in their lives.
Anywho, just thought we could share some positive stories in this thread as there seems to be such upset as a result of MD this year.
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Comments
That was very thoughtful of
That was very thoughtful of you.
My kids don't have a SM. But I did encourage my ex to ask out a really nice single mom from the little league field. LOL, does that count? He actually did it too
That's cute. How did the date
That's cute. How did the date go?
They haven't gone out yet. I
They haven't gone out yet. I could tell they liked each other just from the interactions at the field, our oldest daughter and this ladies daughter are friends but on different teams, so we see them pretty often but not daily like we do her team mates. She has come to the house to pick ODD up and her daughter has hung out with us too. Good kid. Nice mom, and she and my ex flirt. I just gave him the extra vote of confidence he needed when I told him she flirts with him
and he should go for it. I think they are going out this weekend.
Picking out the exH's new GF
Picking out the exH's new GF is a good strategy. LOL.
It's much nicer when everyone can be civil and truly friendly.
ExH and I get along great now
ExH and I get along great now that we don't have to live together
i did when dd was little, i
i did when dd was little, i didn't do it for xsmom, i HATED her, i did it for dd, no other reason
I did not! Mainly because she
I did not! Mainly because she is nasty and calls my son "the brat" (this was just confirmed by his half-siblings who are also there). I would have no problem being civil if she deserved it. I believe her BF (my ex) bought her dunkin doughnuts!
I have no doubts my son is difficult there, but he is not here, he is good at school, and honestly she and my ex brought that on themselves by her moving in 3 days after I left. My BS6 (then 5) could not process it and I expect he did act out, but name calling him certainly did not help. I know my ex tried to get her to stop as BS6 states this, she doesn't.
Your gesture was lovely though! I would love that kind of relationship. I know the remarried ex-wife from before me has a great relationship with her skids BM. BM walks in, lets her hold her baby etc. They all bought each other gifts. Me and the ex BM also exchanged messages. Only ones left out were ex and new GF. I cannot believe I did not see he was the problem when I was there - rose tinted glasses!
I talked to my kids about
I talked to my kids about what we should do for their SM, they both picked out cards (they weren't comfortable with "Mother" ones, so we found some lovely blank ones) and they wrote her lovely Happy Mothers Day messages, we bought her a small gift, and posted it (addressed to their father) I forewarned him that it was coming and that he was to give it to her on Mother's Day morning and let her know it was from the dd's.
She was really surprised and very happy to receive it. It taught the kids to treat people well and show love and kindness, and it made me feel warm and fuzzy - wins all round