Need advise Please
My name is Shelly I am 43 years old, I have 2 children 25 & 17 my 17 year old daughter lives with me and my current husband. I was with her father for 23 years divorced and remarried to a man I love very very much. He has 2 children 15 boy, 17 daughter, I hate the daughter she is a total bitch. She is the princess to her father who she totally hates. He does everything for her and she cant stand him. I am last in his life what do I do?
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I have a 17 year old SD that
I have a 17 year old SD that Daddy is afraid to parent so I can speak to it.
17 year olds dont like girlfriends or new wives. I believe in my experience this stems back to how our husbands have interacted with them well prior to us entering the picture.
In my experience this happens well before we come along when Mom and Dad seperate. I listened to my ex husband tell my daughters when they were little and he and I were still together your Daddys number one girl. It is internalized one way in a conventional family. Daughter takes this as Im Daddy's number one girl, but Mommy is Mommy and Daddy loves Mommy too.
Once the parents split Daddy saying that to his daughter takes on a whole new meaning esp when Mommy is being bad mouthed or she has heard Mommy and Daddy fighting. Then the My number one girl, or My little princess, honey, baby, sweetheart is internalized as I am going to take care of Daddy. And Daddy makes his whole life about taking care of her.
Then Bam one day when she is older, Daddy has a new girlfriend, and she hears him calling you Honey, Baby, Sweetheart. I cant tell you what the daughter thinks but I can tell you that things can get pretty ugly.
It has taken me years to realize, I am always first with my husband. The difference between me and my SD is, I dont have to be managed therefore I require less attention then someone who does have to be managed.
Her Future Husband is in for it some day