srangel112's Blog
How do you handle being the "real" parent to SKids?
The last few months have been the hardest of the 2+ years I've been with SO. I try to hold on to my faith and church, and with this being my possibly second marriage, I'm holding on more just because it's what my faith says to do. Yes, we aren't married yet, and there's a reason I'm not ready to marry him...so yes I do have an "out."
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Looking at the good to get through the bad
I haven't been on here in so long. Things with us got a lot better, and I felt I didn't need to vent anymore. Well, now I do
My mother flat out told me she doesn't want to hear certain things anymore. I had 2 good female friends who lied, backstabbed, and turned on me so I don't trust them anymore. I just feel so lost sometimes. I just need someone to listen to me sometimes and not always have to try and fix things...someone who can understand where I'm coming from.
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BM hiring a hitman?!?!?!
FH received a message on FB that a friend of his, who is listed as a friend of BM on FB put in her status "looking for a hitman." because she is bipolar, attempted suicide 3 times last year, and threatened once last year to come by and shoot her kids and BD, I told FH to consider this a serious threat. I suggested he call his lawyer and/or police. I don't know if he will though, because sometimes he sees her threats as empty attention-getters. This all came about after some arguing between she and I about the summer vacation.
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OT: tetanus vaccine
Monday I got my 10 yr booster for tetanus. It didn't start hurting until probably 2 days later. Now it's swollen to about the size of an egg, itches, very tender and tough, and feels like fire. Has anyone else felt these same reactions? I've read that it just means you have more than normal antibodies, and one should take ibuprofen. But man, this feels like a bad insect sting!
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Step-moms as primary caretakers
I want to say that a lot of advice I have gotten from friends, family, and websites don't fit evey situation. I read a lot that it wasn't my place to discipline, and DH and I even agreed on that. After acknowledging that I am the stay at home until dad gets home at 6, it was contradictory to think I shouldn't discipline. Well after starting parenting therapy classes, it has been confirmed to me and I feel much better. Our therapist said that our situation is different than the traditional "mom, step dad, children" scenario.
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My bday road trip!
This is our last weekend to be kid-free till maybe the summer since BM is moving out of state. We had dinner plans and comedy club planned for tomorrow, but FH decided we would pack up and hit the road! All last minute and it has been so fun so far! We don't have a destination other than driving east! It's been fun just getting on the road, no plans, no deadlines, and no kids. I was afraid to spend the money for gas, food, an hotel but we have it to spend.
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Gift to BM from kids
I am starting to work through my own issues of jealousy and other things with BM. Tomorrow is the last visit she will have with her kids for quite some time. She is moving many states away, has been on social security for years, and isn't capable of taking care of herself or her 13 year old son who currently lives with her parents. While I am glad she's leaving so we can have some consistency in our home, I know there will be issues with the boys. We have already had a parent conference with a new therapist, and the boys will start therapy next week to help in this transition.
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Bringing things from BM's house
I am first up tomorrow. I am starting therapy tomorrow, some for my sake, some to learn how to step-parent, and some to get the family able to talk bond and communicate. FH has SS5 & 6. BM is about to move many states away in two weeks, but it hasn't made this last visit any easier. SS5 came home today after his visit, and it's the same stuff over and over. She found out that he only goes to pre-k twice a week and stays home with me the rest of the week. She is disgusted over that, but she has no choice or say in their education.
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Step-mom planning first pregnancy
We received our tax refund, and it was enough for us to finally get his reversal done! We are so excited. I was even more excited when he said last month, "I've been thinkining...I don't want us to move into a house and have to wait again to save money for the surgery to get pregnant. By the time we actually get to that point, years will go by and the success rate goes down." So, he wants to get pregnant!!! I've made my appointment for a physical and family planning, and waiting to hear back to schedule his appointment.
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Transition period
After months of suggesting she is leaving, BM has her lease up end of February. She sat down with SS5/6 today to explain she is leaving the state! Yay for us, but I know it will be hard on the boys. She said she will try to visit every 2-3 months. They just got used to having regular twice a month visits, even though she cancelled once this month and once in December.
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