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I am totally lost!

sosmomof6's picture

I think my brain blew a fuse....

Anyone who has read my recent blogs know about the situation with SS's IEP meeting, and how BM was saying how she DIDN'T want me there, I wasn't "allowed".

A short while ago, she sent my H a few emails, the one dealing with the meeting said this (among other things)~

"Are you so childish that you and your wife can't sit with me for an hour in a meeting?"

"Having separate meetings is a waste of the school's time and energy"

"I may not like the fact that you're bringing your wife, but I will at least be polite to her"

She gets the last word

sosmomof6's picture

Not much new here....DH called the school again. The teacher said Yes, she spoke with BM and Yes, BM was VERY VEHEMENT that I not attend. The teacher said she didn't understand why, and she thought that it would be good for me to come...but because of BM raising such a stink about it, that wouldn't be good for SS. She never said that I couldn't go, just that having "Mom" cause a scene would not help SS. Me and H, understanding that, set up the separate meeting.

Unabashed venting!

sosmomof6's picture

Now I am seeing red.....

We thought/hoped that since my attendance at SS's IEP meeting was cleared by his teacher that BM would find out I was allowed to come on that day.

Nope.

First she said the school called her after my DH had spoken with them to "see if [BM] was ok with it". From the way she spoke, my best guess is that she told them NO, she is NOT. She said to my H that she informed them that "[YOU] may go"...ie, only him, not me. More about how I'm not his parent...will she ever stop rubbing that in my face?

Gee...this seems familiar......

sosmomof6's picture

Well, before the New Year things seemed to be going somewhat all right.....SS was coming over about 2 days a week with one overnight for several weeks in a row!! :o This was a record folks!

But, now visits have dropped back to about 9 hours each week. And now, BM is starting in with her normal crap again~ she sent my DH an email informing him about SS's IEP (school appointment). They want both parents to be there ideally, and she said she needs to know if he's coming so she can tell the teachers who will be there.

Thoughts....

sosmomof6's picture

I love this song, but I'm not going to post the whole thing...just a few lines. This is from "My Grown Up Christmas List". I thought this was appropriate for what a lot of us are going through Smile

No more lives torn apart,
and wars would never start,
and time would heal all hearts

And everyone would have a friend,
and right would always win,
and love would never end

This is my grown-up Christmas list

Happy Holidays everyone!

Games, games, games

sosmomof6's picture

Well, we tried this idea that Janice gave...to email BM from our family account instead of my DH's separate email. What happens?...two or three days go by with no word, and we need to know what's going on for Christmas. So he tried his account again. She says "You can't use the other address" (telling him again what he CAN'T do? Hello, Miss Control Freak!)~ saying "it doesn't come through right on my end". I'd like to know exactly how. It just seems like more bull to me. Now I half wonder if she didn't read the thing on here about us using that email to help show her that we're united.

A step in BM's shoes

sosmomof6's picture

Trying to do that whole "empathy" thing Smile

I have considered what little she has said about why she did what she did. The two main things were for the attention and because she said she was in a "black hole".

clarification

sosmomof6's picture

I have read about several bloggers here who met their current partner/spouse out of an affair, with the BM being the ex. It might seem like I bash the BM in my case because of the affair and my bitterness out of that. I'd like to write this to clear that up...because I've thought long and hard about all of this before. While I don't agree with affairs, that doesn't mean I condemn anyone who has them. I know that, ultimately, we love who we love and that sometimes we realize we do not always love the person we're with, or that they do not love us how we want or need to be loved.

Get this stuff!!!

sosmomof6's picture

Lately BM has been in full-on attack mode. The cycle between her and DH seems to go like this~ she says "I'm DONE" and sends terse emails about if and when SS can visit (which we keep telling her is never a problem unless any of us are sick). And hubby sends equally brief and neutral replies. But then she'll start making longer and longer emails where she'll make continued bitchy statements, threats, assumptions about us and so on. And my husband will reply to those things. Then she'll keep getting MORE nasty and then my husband feels like blowing up.

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