birthday season
If you have read any of my blogs, you know that we have 7 children between the both of us, 5 of them are my step kids. anyway.. April and May have been named birthday season here because 4 of them have birthdays days apart, starting today. then May 3rd, then may 7, and may 24th. my questions are:
1. would it be a good idea to just have DH take each kid out by themselves to like eat or a movie or something?? because since there are so many of us, its sooo expensive to take them all out as a family.
2. BM2 has already sent DH a message asking if he was doing anything for SS10's birthday.. question, I don't think she needs to know. How do we put it nicely that its none of her business.. we don't ever ask her what she is doing for their birthdays or etc. This past Christmas she wanted to know what we were getting them, and I was nice and told her...BAD IDEA,, she only wanted to know so she could get them better gifts.
3. If you read my other blog about hurt feelings, SS10 is the one that told me on speaker phone in front of his mother he didn't like me, and many of you suggested that DH needs to confront him about it because he loves me while he is here, wants me to play with him, etc.. soo since it is his birthday weekend do we still confront him or not?
- smof5's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Wow thats alot of kids to buy
Wow thats alot of kids to buy bdays for at one time. I think its ok to do the one on one thing-they probably dont get a whole lot of that-or just do their favorite meal at home with everyone. I also think if you want to talk to the kid about what he said-then talk to him-I wouldnt care if it was his bday or not. I mean I probably wouldnt ask him about it in the middle of cutting his cake-but if he's there all weekend you have plenty of opportunities. If i were you I think I'd confront ss as well-just say, "You know I heard what you said and it really hurt my feelings." and then your dh can confront him separately on the fact that it is disrespectful to talk that way about one of your parental figures and that your dh finds it disrespectful when anyone talks about his wife in those terms-and if it happens again he will be punished.
My Husband and I have six
My Husband and I have six kids all together,my three skids and our three bio kids. We too have a birthday season in one month 6 days apart are his twins from a previous relationship and our twins so we just make supper at home play games or rent a movie.I make a cake and it's a lot of fun.Everyone also helps with making supper so they feel apart of the celebration.
As to the confronting him, I would my husband( he never married the skids loser of a mother...I don't really classify her as a mother) and I confronted his skids on Christmas morning about texting their BM how horriable it was that they had to go to church and that they were going to eat chicken.( they now all love chicken by the way) Also I was the ugly step mother who was over weight...hello I just had twins) You have to remember that it's not the skid who is really saying it, it's the BM's own insicurities knowing that your a better mother than her so she takes it out on the kids. The skids were punished EVEN on christmas because you need to make sure that they understand that at anytime that behavior is not acceptable. I wish you the best of luck!
Thank you so much, I just
Thank you so much, I just realllly want them to like me so I am always unsure about doing things, Kids don't understand money is tight and they shouldn't know anything about the money situation but I am just afraid they will go back home to their BM and talk horribly about how they didn't have a good birthday at dad's and they got in trouble and then her blame it on me. I'm the type of person that can't sleep at night if someone doesn't like me.
"I'm the type of person that
"I'm the type of person that can't sleep at night if someone doesn't like me."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's life as a SM. Accept that someone won't like you...even if there's no reason.
We have 7 at home between the
We have 7 at home between the 2 of us too.
and yes, Easter was expensive, All holidays are.
I vote for the one on one time with dad.
Don't try to hard to have the
Don't try to hard to have the skids like you...do you try this hard with your bio kids?( of course not, they are kids and will love you no matter what.) My skids go home to their BM and complain all the time...it's always about stupid things, things that don't really matter. They like the fact that on their birthday we play games because their BM is ALWAYS too busy to play with them. We make it speical for them and yes, their BM takes them to Go Karting and video plaza's but they like the fact theat at our house they get good family time. When it's there birthday weekend they talk not stop about what games they all want to play. We have made it a triditon in our household. sometimes both Grandparents come over and play the games too. If you worry too much if they like you or if they will have a good time then loose out on having a good time! I still wouldn't skimp on talking to you SS, I would do it with your Husband so he knows you two are a united front.
Good Luck!
1. As someone who grew up in
1. As someone who grew up in that situation (I am one of 14 and my bday and 2 sisters are all in the same week) I vote the one-on-one time. Like Hismineandours said above, they probably don't get that much and that would be special.
2. Just don't respond to BM and ignore, ignore, ignore.
3. YES. Again I agree with hismineandours. SS10 needs to be spoken to this weekend but at an appropriate time.
If you have Optimum Cable
If you have Optimum Cable Triple play take advantage of Free movie Tuesdays so Dad can take one each Tuesday for the entire month for FREE. Buy snacks at Walmart and put them in their pockets, just buy soda at the movies. Make a nice family meal between all the b-days as a celebration of sorts and bake cupcakes. I have 5 kids, 2 steps and 3 bio's, DH and I have no kids together. It gets expensive. GOOD LUCK!