i hate to tell you but when you step in a situation like this, you even said it yourself "ill be their mother" YOU need to LOVE THEM for BETTER or for WORSE. all kids do this, they dont freakin listen, heck i remember my own mother yelling at me for something like this. Its really not that big of a deal with the whole hanger thing in all reality and if thats the best situation you can come up with then maybe you need to step back and revaluate yourself and why you are so angry. is there another underlying problem??

like i said you said it yourself: poor kids, they don't have a mom, I'll be their mom and give them a mom's love that I know they're lacking".

you have now taken that role.

but then you contradict yourself by saying: "Why is it my job if it's his kids?" becuase u MADE THEM YOUR KIDS.

i can bet you will yell at your own son the same when he doesnt listen. Your hubby has accepted you and your son now its time to do the same for him and i can carry no sympathy for you here because you spelled it out for yourself.......you assumed that role now deal with it. Lucky you have no crazy BM to deal with.

And if the skids dont listen, speak to hubby, set house rules and consequences but you cannot resent a situation that you so graciously accepted in the first place.

"My husband comes in to see what's going on and all he does is explain to his son THE SAME THING that has already been explained to him OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Then my anger turns to my husband and I start yelling at him asking him why he doesn't get tired of saying the same thing to his son, why he doesn't do something else, some kind of punishment where the kid gets it!"

Replace "wife" with "husband" and I could of written that paragraph. Anytime my step-son does something wrong she talks to him sternly, then lets him go on his way. So he keeps doing the same thing over and over and I get into arguments with her because she's not teaching any lessons other than he can still go play with friends and do whatever he wants and all he gets is a talk... the kids never been grounded in his life.

I've figured out that my wife just has some serious guilt issues and would rather be her sons friend than his mother.

I feel for ya.

I understand about the constant guilt (check my user name But honestly, I would love to be in your situation. It would make things so much easier if my SD could just be mine. My BD5's father died when she was 18 months old. My current husband adopted her when we got married last year. I am a full time stepmom to SD10 because her mother decided to go live in London. I have all of the responsibility but none of the empowerment. Every time I do something she doesn't like she's on the phone to Mom. Every time she wants something we won't give her, she's on the phone to Mom. If her mother were gone, I'd adopt her in a heartbeat...

I'm not judging you for how you're feeling. Everyone handles their blended home life in a different way. But you have a real opportunity here. You may not like the way the children are behaving now. But if you stay committed and make the effort to love them through it all, at their highschool graduations, at their weddings you will be the one and only mom that was there for them and they will show you how much you've meant. The reward will totally be worth it in the end.

If it makes you feel any better, my SD10 not only keeps jeans stuffed in her dresser drawers, but she will take off her dirty clothes at night and put them in there too! We have told her 1,000000000 times, "DO NOT PUT DIRTY CLOTHES BACK IN THE DRAWER!!!!" She still does it. and everytime my husband threatens to do this or that to her and he rambles on and on, but he doesn't do anything and she could care less. As long as the room is fairly clean, I'm staying out of her drawers! She can wear dirty underwear if she wants too!!!!