Update: Stepdaughter!!!!
Last night when I got home from work I came into the house telling my SD that I hadn't said much to her about her recent pics on her phone but that I wasn't going to stand for it. I told her that she is grounded from tv, radio, any form of technology/electronic. That what she did was wrong and that she better realize that she's going to have to deal with the concequenses of her actions.
My husband talked to me in the bedroom about how I need to "lighten up". I told him that if I'm being too aggressive it's because he's not being aggressive enough. That if he would stand by me and help me help him with her I wouldn't be so hard. We got in a fight and I left to the grocery store to buy some things we needed.
While I was out our oldest (my SS (16)) asked my husband why we were arguing, so he let him in on what SD was doing with her phone and my SS told his dad "mom's right, she's just trying to teach SD a lesson you need to stand by mom instead of fighting with her, she's trying to help you with my sister".
When I got back, my husband told me that his son opened his eyes to what I was trying to do. I was so delightfully surprised by my SS, he seemed to understand me and the situation better than my husband did. I went to my SS room and we talked about it, he said that his sister did not need a phone, that she's not ready for it and that he was going to help by keeping an eye on her too.
I love the way he responded to the situation, that he plans on cracking down on the problem with us because he doesn't want his sister to be that "kind" of girl.
I felt more support from my SS than I did my husband....that's depressing. I don't know why my husband is so easy on her, it....drives....me....crazy!
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Kudos for SS!!!
Kudos for SS!!!
Good for your SS!!! I think
Good for your SS!!! I think the phone should be taken away. I would also monitor any computer use.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
That's awesome...see it's
That's awesome...see it's moments like that that make stepping kind of worth it...
I think our DH's get so defensive (and we do too if we're honest), but they lose sight of the fact that when they do that they are saying they don't trust our judgment or opinions and more than that don't trust that we are good people. They don't seem to realize that this is the message we hear...at least I do.
I imagine SS at his age has seen first hand some of this crude behavior in peers...my BD that told me about the pictures being passed around at parties is also 16. Girls her age talk openly about being sexually active and two of the girls in her social circles have gotten pregnant this year....it's rampant and the pics are seen as mainstream....
Now why does a child have to
Now why does a child have to open a parents eyes? Sometimes the child is more of a parent then the parent is.
" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore
And yes Crayon. TOTALLY
And yes Crayon. TOTALLY AGREE. I feel this way in my house. If I say it about SD 10, I'm over reacting but if someone else (an Aunt, a Teacher, etc.) says the same exact thing he listens....if he doesn't respect my opinions and influences, why is he expecting me to raise his child?
Wow smart boy
Wow smart boy
So happy for you. May not
So happy for you. May not be the path you thought you were going to take to resolve the problem but at least you got there. Your SS obviously realizes what your DH doesn't. The boys at school receiving those kinds of pics from girls think poorly of them, think their the easy girls. I'm sure SS has heard this kind of talk about other girls at school and he doesn't want his sister being one of them. Good for you both!