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Skidmom1's Blog

Happy Mother's Day to all of us!

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Happy Mother's Day to everyone (especially those of us who are childless ourselves). At times I wonder why the heck I'm doing this...and then there are the easy times that help us get through the bad times. Unfortunately right now I'm in a tough time where I'm just frustrated with the lack of knowledge (and ok I am admit it - control) over situations. I've learned a lot from those of you on here about letting go and I' m trying to do it. It's just hard when you feel like an outsider in your own home.

I'm an outsider......

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I'm feeling really sad today. I have been married to my DH for 7 years and we have been together for 9. His daughter is 13. There is a LOT of drama going on with SD and BM now. Finally all the years of parent alienation have caught up with BM and she is imploding. We were dealing with the latest drama last night. DH and I were talking on the phone with the neighbors of the BM (who have in the past babysat SD when she was young and SD and this couple are very close). They too are concerned with the drama going on at BM house.

Enough Already

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First let me state that I am blessed to have a good relationship with my SD13. She is having terrible issues with her BM. BM has always lied to her about things with her father and generally tried to keep them apart. SD13 is now old enough to see through the lies/mess and we are trying to get the parenting time split 50/50 so that SD13 isn't with her mom as much.

Stressful and Causing Huge Fights

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I'm so frustrated and I'm wondering if others have come across this situation. I feel like when I entered into this marriage (almost 6 years ago) that we would be partners on everything. It seems like ground hog day with my DH on issues with scheduling with his EX. I love my step daughter and have no issues with her at all. I just think that if it involves schedule changes, that I should be in the loop at the beginning before it is discussed with EX and SD (age 12).

"That's Just How She is....."

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I'm so tired and frustrated!! BM can constantly say crappy things about DH to SD, take her out of school on a vacation and notify us by email that day (though the school was notified way in advance so she could get homework to take on trip)deny us access to SD cell phone (but yet BM insists to SD that the phone has to be on all the time at our house).

Coping Strategies??

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I need some advice from fellow stepparents. It seems like when BM starts playing dirty and DH and I both get frustrated by her acts, I'm the one left still feeling angry or frustrated. He gets angry too, but lets it go because he feels like he can't win in situations. I do feel like DH and I are a team, but it drives me crazy with the amount of control that he allows BM to have. I've told DH before that he can't have it both ways with me.

Does everyone else feel this way???

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I'm a new stepmom and sometimes it just gets so frustrating. I love my SD and husband so much, but it's hard when I feel like I don't have a say in what is going on in our home. We can talk/communicate on everything except when it comes to his daughter. We met way after his divorce from the BM and in fact she was remarried at the time that he and I got married. It just seems like he deals with guilt from the divorce and instead overcompensates and lets his 8yr old daughter make the rules and when I say something....I'm the bad guy or we end up arguing.

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