DH found out some information yesterday from BM's soon to be ex-husband that has given me mixed emotions about sKids and angers me further toward BM. I have been moody lately so part of me wants to go on the war path but logical I know it will only make it worse. So I will just vent instead

You have to consider the source of course. Her ex is a little jaded. He and DH used to be friends before he started dating and eventually married his ex. DH felt the need to talk to him privately about what happened because BM dumped the ex when DH told her the Ss9 wasn't happy at her house and Ss9 claimed that the ex was spanking him. DH just wanted the guy to know that it had been something that they could work out as a couple and the ex said he offered to go to couples therapy and parenting classes. BM refused.

However the stories he tells of life with BM sound very familiar to DH and her ex has said that he is probably going to be better off without the constant yelling and belittling. The task of pleasing BM had been never ending. When it came to the skids ex said he tired to do things with them and follow suggestions given to BM by us on how to deal with the kids various issues. He always got 'we don't have to do what DH does'. He also confirms that they never went any where with the kids unless her parents went with, even though he wanted to.

He says every time he tried to discipline the kids, which he claims he never hit them, just time outs and took things away but when BM was there or came home the kids would scream and she would cave to them. It was a pointless battle for him.

He also said that BM doesn't so any of the things that doctors, therapist ect have suggested do ss9. He has mild ADHD and doesn't sleep well. They said no tv at night but ex says it stays on all night at there house and ss9 will come I to their room at 2 am and ask to have his movie restarted. This I believe as he is always exhausted when she drops him off on Sundays. EOW custody.

Ss9 lies to us about it when we ask now. He says they don't and I am starting to wonder if he lied about the spanking just to get Ex in trouble with BM.

This all paints a very different picture of Skids for me than I am used to. They don't act like this at our house or toward me but DH and I have always been a united front. When DH is not here they know I am the authority figure until he returns (no different than any child care provider) but unlike BM if they admit to DH that I punished them for something, he hears both sides and usually sides with me. If DH finds out they have me attitude they have to deal with him. Yet oddly enough both boys absolutely adore me. We ran into them that the store the other day on BM's week and both kids ran up and hugged me, I thought BM was going to puke or something lol.

I guess I just don't know what to do with this info or who to really believe. Ex is very convincing on something's and it jives with my own observations. It's just sickening to think about. Could we use any of this to get full custody?