SS9 has a smart-mouth. It’s not so much what he says but how he says it. His target is usually me but DH also gets it too. We’ve been on him for months trying to correct the behavior, but SS9 hasn’t gotten the point. Last night was no exception.

DH, SS9, and I were having a nice dinner. (SS13 had a school activity that DH had to pick him up from later in the evening.) During the meal I noticed SS9 playing with his food and not using his silverware properly. I let it go, till the nearly the end of the meal. By this time DH had corrected him a couple of times.

I told SS9 to stop playing with his food and to please start using his fork properly. SS9 turned to me and said, “I AM!!!!!!!” In an F-you type tone. DH immediately told SS9 he was out of line and that tone of voice was uncalled for. They continued eating but I had had enough of SS9’s attitude.

SS9’s words hit me the wrong way. I excused myself from the table and started doing chores around the house steering clear of SS9 and DH. While DH cleared the table SS9 took over the sofa and the TV in the living room. When I came in from the laundry room DH was getting ready to pick up SS13 from school and SS9 was wrapped in a blanket on the sofa playing PS3.

SS13’s school is an hour from our house round trip. Usually I stay home with SS9 while DH picks up SS13 -- BUT NOT LAST NIGHT!

DH asked me what was wrong as he getting ready to head out the door. I told him I was upset and hurt by the way SS9 spoke to me at dinner. I told DH, SS9 speaks this way to me most of the time and that tonight it hit me hard. I told him that I was upset and that I didn’t want to be in the same room as SS9 let alone watch him while DH went to pick up SS13. DH hugged me and said he was sorry. Then DH walked into the living room and told SS9 to put his coat and boots on because he was coming with DH to pick up SS13!

I was stunned.:jawdrop:

When SS9 asked why and DH answered, “You’re coming with me because you hurt BettyRay’s feelings at dinner when you snapped at her. She doesn’t want watch you and I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to do something nice for you either if you spoke that way to me.”

DH then asked SS9 how he felt when people spoke to him the way he had spoken to me. SS9 said he felt sad. Then DH asked SS9 why he talked that way when he knew it was hurtful. SS9 said he did know why.

DH turned around and walk toward me, SS9 following while putting his coat on. As SS9 was putting on his boots DH asked him why he hadn’t said he was sorry yet. SS9 said, “I’m sorry BettyRay.” (His tone was one of shock more than anything else.) I accepted SS9’s apology.

Then SS9 starts taking off his coat. DH asks, “What are you doing?”

SS9 said, “I said I was sorry so I can stay home with BettyRay now, right?”

DH replied, “No, you’re still coming with me so you can think about how you treat other people.” DH then gave me a quick kiss, made sure SS9 was following him, and left. I had an hour of alone-time, but more than anything else I feel like DH put our marriage and my feelings in front of the skids.

I was stunned, still am. Normally DH would have caved after SS9 said he was sorry but DH followed through with the consequence.

When they got home SS9 went straight to his room and sat in the dark listening to country music. I went in there and asked him to come and watch TV with us, he declined. Then DH went to SS9 and asked him to join us, SS9 refused. SS9 was totally sulking, pouting and trying to pull at DH’s heart strings. But DH to his credit left SS9 alone. In the past DH would have went stayed with SS9 comforting him till he fell asleep.

I feel like, as a blended family, we had a milestone moment last night. Maybe my belated Christmas miracle.

~BettyRay