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Shazloo1234's Blog

Finding it hard to be settled

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Submitted by Shazloo1234 on Sat, 09/16/2023 - 12:46am

Ex has created bad feeling about me with skids(14 & 17), so much so that they won't ever speak to me and come to stay.

Apparantly I have "brainwashed" their father into selling the former marital home where they grew up and have memories.

He explained to them that the selling of the house is part of the divorce settlement which he has had to wait 13 years for, and it's his money. He told his daughter to look it up online and she will see it's part of what happens and it has to be "fair" on both parties involved.

Baby steps....

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Submitted by Shazloo1234 on Mon, 12/28/2020 - 5:13am

My bf spoke to the skids on Christmas morning, we were both working so I was unable to speak to them, but my bf re-assured me he'd arranged a Video call with them in Bixung Day.(progress)

We rang them early evening, and as they answered scuttled into step daughters bedroom to be out of earshot of BM.

We chatted briefly and although they

seemed uncomfortable(slightly) it was progress and it did reassure me to a degree that they don't appear to hate me.

Trying to get past the hurt/rejection/ongoing hatred

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Submitted by Shazloo1234 on Sun, 12/20/2020 - 8:45am

We lived with my mother in law before she threw me out. I had a great relationship with her for 6 years. 
When we lived together(same house divided into 2), I did everything for her. My bf went into hospital for open heart surgery and I made sure she attended each time.

I redecorated her house, supported her to appointments etc. 
She discarded me and told my bf if he followed he would lose his inheritance.

Totally confused and insecure

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Submitted by Shazloo1234 on Sun, 12/20/2020 - 12:41am

B/f and myself both working Christmas morning.

When we don't see skids at Christmas/Burthdays he normally lets me wish them a good time whilst he's on the phone also.

I've got a feeling because she's totally stopped any contact for them with me, he'll play along and I won't speak to them.

Am I being petty, stupid etc for being angry and upset if this happens.... because it's what SHE wants??

If he doesn't let me speak to them it's like he's agreeing with her I shouldn't be part of their lives and not sticking up for me??

Bf drove to see skids after 2 years

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Submitted by Shazloo1234 on Sun, 12/13/2020 - 10:16am

My bf is on his way back from seeing the skids. He was trying to find out why they do not want to come and stay with us. They didn't want to talk about it, only to say they only want to see him alone.

I'm so hurt and upset. He got a card and present from them. Card only to him. After 7 years of being in their lives I don't know what to do or say.

Heartbroken.

Isolation and dread

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Submitted by Shazloo1234 on Thu, 12/10/2020 - 2:45pm

My partner is being forced to see the kids (after 7 years divorce) on HER terms.

After me having a fabulous, close and loving relationship with the skids I am now discarded m. Apparantly for no known reason they hate me.

Life with them looks like it will never be the same. I am full of anxiety every time my bf says he's going to visit because there are only 2 options... stay with her in the fmh or walk them round the high street for a couple of hours in the freezing cold and spend pointless money.

Hatred and disrespect for our relationship

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Submitted by Shazloo1234 on Sun, 12/06/2020 - 8:58am

I have been with my partner for 7 years and had a great relationship with skids (then 7 and 5)who came every other weekend, half holidays etc. When it was obvious kids adored me the ex put a stop to contact. We went to court 3 times to get access set in stone but this was breached each time. My partner was getting very little access, and when he went to collect the kids his son would be hysterical and cling to his mother's leg(he was 10)2 years ago his daughter(12) wrote my partner a letter saying she didn't want to come and stay anymore as too scared/tired.