I don’t think this is the hill to die on.

You say they have a great relationship and the court isn’t involved. You guys expect her to care for them during the day which is why you take them to her. That is your choice. Then you have to retrieve them at the start of your visit with them. It’s not her job to get them back to you.

Many exchange orders state parents split the transportation they either meet half way or the parent receiving the children does that part of the exchange which is what you are doing. In the morning you are taking them to day care which you would have to do anyways. You are fortunate that you don’t pay for day care because BM does it.

If you want to create a fight over this you may and then you may end up in court. You may end up with weekend visitation while BM has primary since she has been the one caring for the children during the day.

If you have issues with the driving speak with your partner about why you are responsible for it.

I mean driving time does suck. But as previous poster stated, if you were to get a CO it would probably say you need to pick up child from BM anyway. 

I mean I'm not sure what's wrong with picking them up. I mean occasionally I guess you could ask BM to drop them off. 

YOU don't have to do anything.  DH can pick them up at BM's, or he can ask BM to drop them off, but you aren't obligated to do a single thing. So if you don't feel like picking them up, let DH know that.

I might have BMs and skids mixed, but I think the two going across town go to BM1 and too old for daycare. Perhaps they are getting dropped off to stay before school starts with school being on BM1's side of town.

I think the daycare drive mention was for OP's youngest skids (BM2's kids) who live with OP fulltime.

There was a time when I might have thought...eehhhh, dont tip the boat from side to side UNTIL

UNTIL I learned that kids NEED to visually SEE  both parents participate in transportation. One parents schedule is no more important than the other. BOTH parents should make reasonable accommodations to show the kids mom and dad chip in to make exchanges happen.

Soooo next time the children call and tell you they want you to pick them UP... say HEY just have your mom call me, ok? Mom can bring you here any time she is free, OK?

 Then tell MOM sure the kids can come...just drop them off "we' will be here, OK?

BM- Ohhh, well I need you to pick them up.

You-Ohh just bring them over when your ready we will be here..AND . I will drop them back to xyz

Repeat---as many times as necessary.

How old are the kids, and when you say the boys come & go as often as they like, does this mean there’s no CO? Or is this in addition to visitation?

Personally I think both parents should be pitching in if this is extra time. It’s great that they’ve got a good relationship, but BM should also be working to accommodate the desires of her kids to see their dad if this ‘when the kids want’ arrangement is what works for them.

Unless it’s in the CO that one parent does the transportation, I think it’s important that kids see both parents working together for things like this. If your FDH & BM have a good relationship, I don’t see why he can’t say to her ‘hey do you mind dropping the kids off/collecting them’ without her blowing a gasket.

I don't think there is any harm with your H asking BM if she's ok with dropping them off sometimes. The worse she can say is no and he can either accept it or not.