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I need to learn to keep my mouth shut

secondwife20's picture

So I already set up my Christmas tree, and we bring Blabb home today. She stares at it and asks, "Does it light up?"

I can't help but look at her with the "are-you-serious?" expression on my face. The tree is covered with lights. So I say, "No... we just have the lights there because it fills up space."

DH threw the biggest fit. Apparently not everyone knows that Christmas trees with Christmas lights are supposed to light up... and instead of my actual response, I should have said something like, "Why, of course it does, sweetie pie! Biggrin I don't expect you to know that, so it's okay, sugar plum. After all, we light up our tree every year... it's not fair to expect you to ASSUME that this year will be the same!"

Give me a break.

Blabb acts like a two year old and I'm expected to treat her like one.

For example:

Blabb: Secondwife19, I tersty. (no - not THIRSTY... she's TERSTY)

Now, I'm expected to say: Oh, sweety... of course you are! Sitting around all day must have made you quite TERSTY. Here, let me grab you a soda. Biggrin

Instead, I say: Excuse me?

I don't fall for this, oh-let's-treat-her-like-a-baby-even-though-she's-NINE.

Sometimes I wonder how it will impact her if we ever have children. Will she still try to be the baby or actually step up and act her age?

Comments

startingover2010's picture

she will probably try to be the baby. sd11 did this when bd3 was born. she thought that everyone hated her cause she was 8 instead of a newbon. i caught her sucking her thumb and laying in bed drinking out of bd's bottles a few times. it rediculous, the entitlement.

at 9 yrs old, if she sees lights on a tree she should know better. she probably was trying to get u and dh to argue.

take a deep breath and count to 10....or 50...or hell just keep counting till she is 18 lol.

seriously though, things will improve...someday.

vgill's picture

She is 9 and acts like that!!!! Holy crap!!! my 9 year old daughter, changes her 7 month old baby brothers diaper and can make formula and helps me watch him, and she helps me at our store by running the cash register(DH doesn't even know how to run it LOL) She will act as old as she is treated!!!!! Sit her down with Dh and let her know how things are going to change, because kids will make fun of her if she acts like that!! If Dh thinks your being too mean let me talk to him, or show him this response to let him know what a 9 year old is capable of. P.S. I was driving a 85 horse power tractor by myself (parentally supervised) at 9 years of age!!!!!!

secondwife20's picture

Oh trust me. My parents gave me lots of responsibilities when I was younger. My biggest problem is that I always compare Blabb to me when I was her age.

Now, I'm not saying this is RIGHT or anything, but when I was younger (like 6-7 years young) my mom worked two jobs and my dad was always overseas. This meant that I had to stay home and watch my baby brother after school. I'd make sure we ate, I did my homework, we watched a little TV, and went to bed by 9:30. Every day. By 9 years old, I could cook for me and my little brother, clean the house, and all that jazz without being told to. Blabb? She can't even put food on her plate. Da da has to do it for her.

When I do this, I can't help be disgusted by how Blabb is. So I constantly remind myself that not all parents are like mine and didn't force us to fend for ourselves when they went to make money. Yet, I can't help but wonder if this is NORMAL at all. I thought by at the age of 9, Blabb should be far more mature, but the way DH and Warthog act, this is completely normal behavior... and I feel like the odd one out.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

vgill's picture

Perhaps you need to remind Dh that his job as a parent is to raise them to be ADULTS.. not big babies,and if he continues to treat her like a baby, that is what he'll have!!!

ChaiLatte's picture

Blabb definitely knew the answer to that question and was just asking it to get attention. Parents don't realize how much biological programming influences the way they respond to their child's behavior. Biological programming allows you to find a child's annoying behavior endearing and adorable. Without biological programming, annoying behavior is just annoying. Some days annoying behavior is easier to deal with than others. It sounds like you were having one of those days where you just didn't have patience for her attention seeking behavior. Also, Blabb needs to learn not to ask questions she already knows the answer to, and talking like a baby to get attention. DH needs to realize you aren't going to be the last person annoyed by this if she doesn't break this habit.

"There comes a time when you have to surrender the idea of what your children could be to the reality of who they are."