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Divorcing because of SD

sarabella2's picture

Hi everyone. Well, the sd won. I am a newlywed. Only 5 months. But, my sd has caused so much damage that I am now leaving. I feel so very alone and terrified. Hoping some of you will keep me company through this ordeal. This 14 year old kid is TOXIC. I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with her and grateful that I will no longer have to deal with the abuse. I will be bankrupt after moving my WONDERFUL daughters back to Wyoming. I have no job waiting for me...and we will be moving in with my mom. The best woman I know! My tears won't stop falling.

Comments

TheWife's picture

OH, I am so sorry!!

If you don't wind me asking, what specifically caused all of this?

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

lynneranne's picture

Stay strong. You will be better for this in the long run!! Best wishes!!

Life isn't about the days you have, its about what you do with the days you have.

soverysad's picture

Good luck and many prayers sarabella. I'm sorry you are going through this, but it sounds like it is what is best for you and your daughters.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

stepmom008's picture

I'm sorry! ((((((HUGS))))))

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

Thetis's picture

Sara, stay strong for your girls and try not to let this make you bitter. It sucks when you draw the crap cards on what should be a winning hand. But don't stop playing. You'll find what you need to carry on through this and eventually you may end up with what you want.
Take care. An ending relationship can destroy very strong people, dont let it destroy you.

KittyKat's picture

I truly understand the concept of TOXIC Sds

Mine are adults, but I KNOW if I had to deal with them on a regular basis, my H and I would also be divorced. They are just not nice people. I also have me own wonderful daughter, and I would never let her be exposed to his brats on a regular basis, either.

You WILL survive this, and your own daughters will be free from the toxic influence. Next time, you'll know that when a man's daughter/son is "running the show", you need to run the other way.

I'm sorry this is happening to you, but if she is manipulative and nasty at 14, you KNOW she's not going to outgrow it any time soon. Hugs!!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

VERNIE's picture

I feel your pain - I have a SD (13) running the show at out house - thanks god we only have her a couple of days a week - but that is usually enough to cause enough stress with me that it spills over into the days she's not with us. I am hanging on by a thread and I don't think it will take much more for me to leave also. Keep you head up and know that you are the bigger, stronger person.

jojo68's picture

You will be fine...You hang in there!!! I know how hard it is...you and your daughters are embarking on a new life, non-toxic life if you will! ((((((HUGSSSSSSSSSS)))))))

Rags's picture

Congrats on getting your life back. Take it as a do-over, get back to God's country (Big Sky Country is the best), forgive yourself and move on.

I went through a divorce myself and the do-over was the best gift I gave myself.

You will find a man who will love and appreciate beautiful ladies as you and your beautiful daughters deserve and should be cherished and loved.

Hang in there. There is nothing quite as healing and cathartic as moving home to Mom and her cooking for a while. I know, I have done it myself.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

Sita Tara's picture

Just remember...

I wasted 6 years and now I'm the one being left.

You will be thankful that you got out this soon before it bled you dry further emotionally and financially.

I remember being worried I needed to leave a few months in, when my H (then BF) took a job traveling non stop while I took care of his house, his pets and his daughter (while I also still had my house, my cat, my 2 kids to care for.) But he found a new job so I wouldn't leave, which I interpreted to mean he really loved me.

Argh

I think now that he still felt I served a great purpose in his life at that time.

And now he decided I didn't and it's time to cut his losses after I've spent the last 6 years caring for his daughter, not working myself, lost 6 years of pension, and no longer have a home of my own etc.

You'll be ok. HANG IN THERE.

HUGS.

AlexandraL's picture

Sorry you are going through this. I can empathize. Hang in there. You're listening to your gut and putting yourself first...things will be ok in the end.

herewegoagain's picture

I am so sorry...no, she didn't win...eventually her father will see her for what she is...and when he's old and has nobody that cares about him beside him and his daughter is still treating him like dirt, he'll be the one sorry...

Move on, take care of yourself and keep your kids away from her...

belleboudeuse's picture

Ugh, I am SOOOOO sorry. I'm sure this really hurts right now. The upshot is, you didn't marry this guy and waste even more of your time with him. Sorry to put it that way, but kids only destroy relationships that their parents let them destroy.

Like Rags said, take it as a do over and a lesson learned. If you ever get involved with someone who has kids again, you will know what the warning signs are.

HUGS!!!!

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

sarabella2's picture

ALL OF YOU ROCK!!!! I have never felt more supported in my life! But, doesn't it make you sad that there are so many of us having the same horrible issues. My soon-to-be ex-husband does coddle his daughter. Infact everyone but the sd knows about us getting divorced!!!!! He is trying to protect her from all of this...or maybe he is just terrified of her? All I know is that I made the RIGHT decision! I am looking forward to my do over. I don't think I will let anyone in for a long time.....my love life reads like a soap opera...and not the gooey romantic type!

I know none of you....but adore all of you.

"sometimes things have to fall apart - in order for others to fall into place" My new Motto.

Bless all of you!
Sara