Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
We are incredibly grateful for your support, contributions and the community you've helped us build. Your engagement has made StepTalk.org a special place and we cherish the memories and connections made here.
We would especially like to thank Aniki for volunteering to be a moderator and for caring so much.
Thank you for being a part of our journey and we wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Dawn and The StepTalk Team
Comments
Just let DH handle it how he
Just let DH handle it how he wants. Sounds like he'd like to pass the buck to BM.
BM said she'd tell SD and I
BM said she'd tell SD and I just told her to say that SIL was very sick but loved SD so much.
I think you should ask your DH
What role he wants you to play in this and then stick with it. As much as you want to help you need to do whatever helps him and makes it easier on him. I completely understand how hard that can be when BM's are involved but it's the best way.
Are you saying above in your post to say SIL is very sick not dead? or did you mean she died because she was very sick?
I'd let BM tell her and then have DH call her a few hours later.
I understand that DH is upset
I understand that DH is upset about his sister's death, but he needs to pull it together and talk to his daughter. He can start off with the 'very sick', but if his daughter questions, he needs to be honest about what happened. After the funeral DH should seek out some counseling to help him deal with the role of alcohol in the death.
As much as you want to help, my advice would be to stay out of it. Do not enable DH by taking on his responsibility to his child. He needs to talk to her. If you give SD the 'very sick' story, it has great potential to backfire on you when SD finally learns the truth-- and she will.
(I realize that SIL was very sick from alcoholism, but in this case 'very sick' would be used as an evasion. SD is old enough to have alcoholism explained to her)