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PASSING THE MEDICINE???

Rosedeer1's picture

Submitted by Rosedeer1 on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 2:15pm

Well my SS is sick and has 3 different medications and his BM gets her visit tomorrow and since it is spring break he will be with her until Sat. usually she only gets him wed and EOW but now she gets him wed. - Sat. so we have to send the medicine with him and I do not know if I should just walk it out to her or let my 5 year old SS carry it out, her and I do not talk she hates me,she is going to hate the fact that she has to come to my house to pick him up because I teach and have spring break off, and my DH will not be home until 5:30 so she gets me. So do I just walk the medicine out to her and hand it to her and say nothing or do I let my SS take the medicine with him? Also I have to return her container she sent her stupid cupcakes in!!!! So what to do either way I am sure I am wrong, I wish we could do stuff like this without it causing a problem but I feel if I take it out to her then she will call my DH and find something to complain about but if I do not take it out to her I feel like she wins and does not have to deal with me, I dont think the 5 year old should be doing adult work and I know I will complain all night about how she rolled her eyes at me or and if she is nice to me I will wonder why she is being nice to me,there is no winning in this situation!!! However I feel that the more we have to deal with eachother the easier it will be someday!!! What do you think???

Comments

kaffonseca's picture

Submitted by kaffonseca on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 2:17pm

take it out to her, as much as I'd HATE to do it..I think it's better..facing her makes you the first one to put a step forward..and she'll be fake nice I'm sure..

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

sparky's picture

Submitted by sparky on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 2:19pm

Hand it to her and give her instructions. Its the right thing to do and its a medical issue. She needs someone to tell her how to medicate her kd.

SmomKay's picture

Submitted by SmomKay (not verified) on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 2:28pm

Write a note explaining all meds and when they should be taken, If possible include a copy of any explanation of meds from pharmacy. Tape the note to the top of the cupcake holder. If possible type the note. ( I always write the notes in my handwriting but only cuz I know she hate it lol) Have hubby give a follow up call when he gets home. Do stand at the door and watch ss give the pan/note to her so you can be sure she saw it.

Honestly if she hates you now nothing you can do will make it better. She will always think negative on whatever happens. Take care of yourself and do what you are comfortable with, after all she is not your baby's mama so you do have the choice on how you want to handle her.

sarahbernheart's picture

Submitted by sarahbernheart on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 3:04pm

you would just like to throw it right at her, (or maybe that is just me) I think taking it out to her will make you the better person, maybe not in BM's eyes but maybe in the SS- and for me the guilt of NOT taking it would eat me up...

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

FallingfromGrace's picture

Submitted by FallingfromGrace on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 4:47pm

Take it out to her, hand it her, simple instructions - but if she gives you any shit, then all bets are off!

Yes, I know it sucks being the "bigger person".

"God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."

DISbelief's picture

Submitted by DISbelief on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 5:07pm

You should walk it out there. You don't even really have to say anything to her. Just hand it to her and walk away. The last thing you want is for her to pin anything on you about allowing the meds to be in the hands of a 5 yr old.

We try to send everything back and forth in SS's back pack, there are just certain things that I will not send in a 5 yr old's back pack... med's and child support checks. BM actually wanted me to send her check in his back pack to school with him. Mind you this is the same child that can't remember if he turned his homework in 5 minutes after school is let out, and has actually misplaced a pair of shoes out of his backpack, while at school. I will use the snail mail for the checks, thank you very much!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

Sassy's picture

Submitted by Sassy on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 6:45pm

I would just give it to her with written instructions in the bag..that's what i did with mine cause the BM was an idiot

"A parents job is to eat as much sh*t as we have to so that the children do not."

Sassy's picture

Submitted by Sassy on Tue, 04/14/2009 - 6:49pm

As much as I hate seeing and dealing with BM, she hates it more, so sometimes I just stand on the lawn and water when I know she's coming-just so she has to see me. I'm over it and really don't care anymore. The more pleasant I am with her, the better-the kids see me being an adult and she gets all pissy about it.

"A parents job is to eat as much sh*t as we have to so that the children do not."

Rosedeer1's picture

Submitted by Rosedeer1 on Wed, 04/15/2009 - 7:23pm

Well just to let all of you know, I did take the medicine out today, she called my DH and told him she was on her way and asked him to have me send SS out and my DH said well you need his medicine and she said oh Jesus its not a big deal have ... bring it out, so I walked my SS out the door and handed him the medicine in full view of her and myself I stopped at the end of our deck and watched him hand the medicine to his mom, then I asked her if she wanted his boots in case it rained and she nicely said no, he has a pair of mud boots at my house, so I said ok then I told her I already gave SS one does of the pink med. and the other one which is once a day she said I know DH alredy told her. I am not sure if she said she knew because she hates the fact I talk to her at all, she hates the fact I get to be mom 25 days out of the month, but she seemed nice enough and faked it. I am not sure if any of this bothers her at all??? My SS gave her cupcake dish back to her also and said here mom we threw them away, I told him in the house we threw them away because they were to old to eat, because he asked where the cupcakes were. I thought it was funny when he said that to her. Anyway I am not sure who gets the last laugh, but all I can hope is that she hates me more than I hate her and I hope it bothers her having to come to my house more than it bothers me havin her here, I am sure it does after all she is the mom acting like an aunt and not a mom. She called my DH's cell tonight for ss to say good night like always because she will not call my house, she hangs up on me, but tonight he phone was in my car so I said hello to see if she would hang up on me or talk, to see if we had a break through today but she hung up, not surprising, I am just hoping the more I have to see her and talk to her, even if it is small that it does make me the better person for starting the conversation and being able to look at her, instead of her not even wanting to knock on my door to get her son. Just so you know I do work but it is spring break, I do not want you to think I sit home collecting her CS which we have not even been to court yet for. Any way what is you opinion, do you think it bothers her more than it bothers me???