NEED TO VENT HERE BEFORE BAD THINGS HAPPEN
I just need to get out my feelings on this site before I burst out at my family. My husband and I are going to be coaching my step-sons team and our daughters team, they are on the same team. However when his ex called today to see what time the game was Saturday he told her he would call her back to let her know and that he was the coach, and I am pissed that he did not say we are coaching the team, afterall I am the coach and I asked him to coach with me. She can move on and have a boyfriend and bring him here but my DH could not even drive my car to her house when his was broken or she was going to slash my tires. But it is not like she does not know I take care of everything and I asked him why he did not say we are coaching the team and he said he did not want to get in an argument on a Monday, I told him there should be no problem she has moved on I raise her son and she need to fuck off and get over hating me, or just shut her mouth. I am more mad that my DH feels the need to not say we, who care what she says anymore he son lives with us she sees him 5 times a month, so she knows I raise him, if she says anything my DH should nicely tell her off, he should tell her all I do for her son and how she should appreciate that and not bitch about it. She should be thankful all I do, I am his Mom here and I do it all, to lunches to clothes, well everything the mom role includes, and I know that pisses her off but if she complains about it my DH should finally tell her off, who care if she is mad at him, who cares if she starts to fight just hang up and if she calls back tell her we are all 30 for God sake and it has been 4 years and get over it, she has moved on over 5 times, she has no idea what she is doing with her life, she has moved over 7 times and has had over 6 jobs in the past 4 years, so why should we care what she thinks of us, we are married own a house and have great jobs, I feel it is about time she hears we I know she knows I am here and my husband tries to avoid fights, but we are a we and I do more for this kid than anyone, and I do not mind but now I am having issues with just not saying the word we, its not like he needs to say my name all the time, she will know what we means, I swear I need counseling for all of this, it is getting to be too much, I do everything, I have a wonderful life, I have everything I wanted I am having my first child this year and I let her bother me, I need serious HELP!!!!
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Comments
Sorry but with the main
Sorry but with the main point here of him not saying "we"---well I think that you are going way overboard here.
Why does it matter? I can't find a good/logical reason behind it. She will see you coaching (if it is that important to you that she be jealous of you).
I doubt she is thankful for what you do, I am sure she despises you for it.
I do think that you deserve a lot of credit, you seem to be doing most of the work (most SMs do), you are helping with the kids in many ways--taking over as mom. But she is not going to thank you, she is not going to be happy about this.
Don't expect anything from her but snotty remarks, glares and PAS.
BM3SM1 Thank you for your
BM3SM1 Thank you for your response, I agree I get carried away sometimes and need things like this to put me back into reality. I do not feel that I want her to be jealous of me and I am sure she hates me, I mean what BM would not? I raise her child, she fought in court for 2 years against my husband and we won. I guess I would like a thank you for doing her work and I am happy to be doing most of the time, if anyone is jealous I guess it would be me sometimes, because she does not have to worry everyday about everything, she only has to be a Mom 5 times a month. She does not make sure all his clothes are clean or pack his lunch everynight, or make sure he has a bath or read a book to him and on and on and on. So I guess sometimes I sit back and think that it must be nice, but then I remember that I had a big part in this court situation, and yes my husband wanted to go to court and fight, he loves his son more than I think anyone can love someone, but I was right there behind him the whole way, helping him win, I documented every little thing that happened like the lawyer asked us too. I was also there when my husband went to court and was scared he was going to lose his son because our own lawyer was not sure what would happen because he said usually the Moms do win, we were in court soooo long becauase our lawyer told us that we had to allow Mom to pretty much hang herself like she did. So anyway this long vent just to say thank you for your words and this is why I love this site!!
sure, I was hoping you won't
sure, I was hoping you won't take this the wrong way.
I have been here for a long time and have read most of your blogs including during the court processes.
After the court dealings you still found it difficult to let go, you were still watching her on Myspace, and couldn't stop thinking about her. Which honestly drove me crazy
Knowing from your words what it was like before, be happy with the situation for what it is now. Pretend like BM doesn't exist, over time it will come naturally.
BM3SM1 I did not take
BM3SM1
I did not take offense to what you said becaues I feel you were saying it just to help and it did. I know that I should not have been doing those things and it drove me crazy too. I do my best to pretend she does not exist which works most of the time, however, I have to see her tomorrow because I signed my SS up for soccer and my daughter and SS are on the same team and I am the coach, so just the thought of seeing her makes my stomach upset and I am not sure why, because I do not feel that I hate her. I just get uptight around her for some reason. So having to see her and at soccer and hearing SS talk about her sometimes, not often it is hard to pretend she does not exist, but I do try because I do have a great life and need to appreciate what I have and focus on that, I am not sure why I focus on her at all, I wish I could wake up one morning and not even know her name, I wish I could take a pill to make me forget her. Believe me I do not want to live this way, I keep hoping over time it will get better and SS gets older. I do appreciate your responses they help keep me sane and not go look at her myspace. I know I am in a great situation probably better then most stepmoms, I just have a hang up on her and not sure why, and it is hard to just get over. I get soooo mad when she does something that affects my SS like move again, but it is hard for me to realize she is going to do whatever she wants because she does not have to think of what is best for him, my DH and I do because he lives with us. Like I said before this site and your repsonses help more than you will ever know. To Humbersidegal, to answer your question yes she is a person who will go crazy, so I do know why my DH says as little as possible just sometimes it all gets to me, but when I stop and think about it I know why he does what he does and of course I do not want her freaking on him when he can just say a different word, and yes she will see that I am coaching tom. anyway. Thanks for your comments keep them coming please!!!