How much is too much? PLEASE HELP!
In reference to my last blog entry, which you probably should read to get a full understanding of my situation, yes we really believe that SD9 is lying and it's too bad that she will not get any consequences for her actions because she lives with her mom now and her mom does not parent, she lets them play video games/play on the computer from the moment they walk in the door after school.
So my question is, how much is too much? What do you do when you love your husband and want to stay with him but the skids and Ex are causing so many problems that it just doesn't seem worth it? I am at my wit's end right now and last night we discussed getting a divorce. I don't want him to choose between me and our daughter and between his other 2 kids. They are extremely difficult children and I tried to get them in line when they lived with us and nothing but rebellion and resentment came of it. The hell that I went through while they lived with us was just too much for me to deal with again and I don't want to be unhappy like that again. I was depressed all the time and my husband didn't do anything to make things different. I understand that you can't choose between a wife and children but what does it mean when they don't do anything to help the siutation at all?? I see this ending in divorce so what I really need is advice and someone to tell me that it's okay that I am putting my happiness first and in order to be a good mom for my daughter I feel that I need to be happy otherwise I will just be bitter and angry all the time. PLEASE HELP!
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Comments
advocate
I am not an advocate for divorce but at the same time I am an advocate for happiness. It appears that you are miserable in this situation and if you have tried counseling you will know when the time is right to end the relationship. If you force him to choose between you and his kds he will choose his kds. The kds were there before you and they will be there after you are gone. All of his life those kds are going to be a major part of his life. They are little now but even when they grow up and they are still going to be there. Will your life be much better or worse if the two of you split up? If they are not living with you it would seem the situation would be getting better. I would try counseling and anti depressants before I throw the baby out with the bath water.
Being angry
all the time or depressed is not good for you or your daughter and if things dont change and fast you can really get yourself into a rut that can take years to come out of.So is it worth it?You absoulutly have a right to be happy and if you continue this way then your self respect and self esteem is going to go down the drain.Have you talked to dh about counselling that could be a good idea if he hears an outsiders point of view.But just remember to raise your daughter to be a good person she needs her mother to be strong and teach her self respect and if she does not see it from you there is nobody else.In a relationship a husband and wife ARE the foundation and if that starts to crack then there is nothing left.Think about what the future holds for your daughter and yourself and try to get your dh for therapy if that is your last resort.
(((HUGS))) and support
I think the only person who can answer that question is you. If you haven't tried marriage counseling, maybe that might be beneficial, but if your DH refuses to go, I think you should definitely get some counseling for yourself. My DH didn't go to counseling with me, but I went on my own and it really was a good outlet for me. I don't think divorce is the greatest option, but I think it's better than being stuck in an unhappy place and unhappy feelings for the rest of your life. (((HUGS))) and support to you!