Boy has this been a dosie of a problem in our house!! I have an 11 year old SS a BS2 and a BS14. My BS14 is not my Dh's and he doesn't see his dad. My BS2 is mine and my husbands. SS11 has our family, his family and they are well off and a large family.

Last year SS spent Xmas day with us and he got exactly what BS14 got, same amount of gifts same value. He went to his mothers on xmas afternoon and had his second xmas.

My sons had one xmas and that was it, but I believe if the skids are at your house Xmas morning they should get the same. But this year SS is spending Xmas day with his mother and I told Dh he was just getting 4 or 5 gifts and that was it. DH went off his nut saying he'll get what the other boys get. I said SS gets 2 xmas's our boys get one, it would be unfair to display it to him but since he isn't here I am not going to give him all the Xmas day trimmings he will get those at his mums.

DH came around but man did I have to explain it 5 times!! If my parents see the boys together they give SS the same as BS's as I am all for fairness but if they are separate what does it matter?? I don't care if DH's family give their maternal grandkids more than my BS as long as they don't do it in front of him. But I was always taught not eat in front of others so really it's the same moral that applies here.

My mum asked me about what she was getting the Bs vs the SS. I said if you see them together you give them the same but if you want to give BS extra then pop it in his bank later in the year...I don't know some think it's wrong but I am not the comparing jealous type so maybe I'm wrong i just think what they don't know don't hurt, whats the big deal..

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

on all of them. But that's only because we have no children together. All 5 have the other parent to spend on them as well. They all get two Christmases. I could totally see an issue if we had bio children together, that would be difficult to allocate it fairly and explain to a child why his half-sibling got more....

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

I don't concern myself with what the bm does because I think that she should do whatever she feels she needs to for her kids. My Dh and I try to be as fair as possible with the kids in our house. I think we would drive ourselves crazy if we tried to plan everything according to what is going on in the other households.
Usually we try to do one "big" gift and a few smaller items. Thankfully, both grandparents-my mom and dh's are pretty even about what they do for the kids. We really don't fret to much if one kid gets one more thing or gets $20.00 more spent on them because it all seemds to even out in the long run. We don't make a big deal about it so the kids don't either. Different gifts are appropriate for different ages. My kids will get gifts from their dad and my ex mil and uncles aunts from ex's side. And Dh's kids get gifts from bm's family too. It just really hasn't been a big deal.

Georgie