It seems like the family DH and I created takes a back burner to DH and BM or his first family, even after we been together 13 years, for example, we have not ever owned a home together. We both have kids from previous, and houses but mine was mine and his was his and hers. I delayed or put off marriage for five years because DH carried on past codependent patterns with BM for years at my expense, allowing BM's relations to live in their home --she abandoned him, their three kids including her two sons from a previous marriage and he willingly assumed responsibility for raising her sons.