Effect of whoring for skids/kids
Ok, I have a question for those here that have bm's that sleep around and introduce kids to these people
I'm making the distinction because I personally believe (and have myself) bm's/single ANYONE has the right to date/sleep with as many partners as they want and IMO that should NOT be judged.
What SHOULD be judged is if you are introducing these people to your children and swapping like ice-cream flavors. It really gets to me.
I have PLENTY OF FUN when I divorced-I had met my exh very young and never dated around, so I sure as hell made of for lost time since 
But I never brought men home, I only dated or went out EOW, I did not introduce them to my kids-my kids met one guy that I was serious with besides bf...and believe me I dated a LOT more then that.
The logical part of me KNOWS that it would be DAMAGING and SLUTTY to introduce kids to anyone in/out of our lives at random or until you've had time to seeing the relationship might have potential to stick. Bf and I waited about 6-8 months before kiddos knew us as a 'dating' and it's been that way now for close to 3 years.
NOW AGAIN, I hear that bm's girlfriend has moved back. NOT ONLY does she move back but all her dogs. This has got to be the 4-5th time that I know she has moved in/back out. And about the 8th time or more they broke up and got back together.
This also happened in ALL previous relationships, break up, back together-this goes on about 10 times until it ends for good, and then the rotation starts w/the next victim. It's been mainly butch women, (she is femme) but also a few guys (guess that makes her a bi-femme?). Anyways-don't understand much about that. BF laughs that nor dudes or chicks can put up w/her ass lol.
But in all seriousness it ANGERS ME so MUCH, as well as BF of course because of the effect this has on SD. For the longest time she couldn't even open up about her mom being a lesbian-now she does with him and my kids-hasn't with me yet.
The effects on SD behavior I think mostly come from this kind of thing-moms bed/relationship hopping. Because I'm sure SD forms some kind of friendship with them-then she has to hate them like bm-then lvoe them again when they make up, etc etc (golden uterus mom). The confusion this creates is just massive.
Last wknd I only saw SD Sunday and overall it went very well 
so that was great-but I can't help but feel that I'm doomed because bm's lack of morals around her child.
how can anyone think this is ok to do and expose your child to it? I dont' care if you bi-straight-gay....you dont' introduce dates to your kids by day 1 or 3, and you don't move them in the house until you are in an established stable relationship..you don't post on fb for your kid to see your partner cheated on you-you don't post 'single' 'in a domestic partnership 'single' 'in a domestic partnership to single to 'in a relationship' every 2-3 weeks-on average at least 18 times a year in your status that your child sees.
Well Im' sure she tells sd ALL the details everytime something adult happens or fight, or make up, etc. As she's more of the 'friend' type parent.
One can't dream of saying anything to BM-not my place. Sometimes I wish I could tell sd how I feel about it but don't feel comfortable doing that either.
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I hear you! My FSD is 7 and
I hear you! My FSD is 7 and her mom is living with the 5th guy now since her and my FDH split. Poor girl gets attached easily. Thank god she adjusts well, but I'm worried about what will happen when she gets older. I'm the only girlfriend her dad has really had since the split, and BM has been with 3 guys since FDH and I started dating less than 2 yrs ago. It's sad. I just tell myself that I can't control what her mother does but I can at least show her how a lady is supposed to act and how a positive relationship looks. I just don't want her growing up thinking you can use people to get what you want. Her mother is a shining example of that. When FDH and I got together, she was dating one guy (who actually left her for his exwife! ha!) who had a really nice car and a decent job. She left him for a guy who owned his own home AND had a good job. She's left that guy for a guy who owns his own business, his own house and has a nice car. Mind you, this last relationship started before the other one ended (and guy #2 found out). BM actually just recently took FSD over to ex#2's house to "see his new dog" and then told FSD to lie to new bf about it. So when FSD forgot and mentioned the dog, BM told FSD it was all her fault that BM and new bf fought all day and that "she should learn when it's important to keep secrets". :jawdrop: BM is disgusting.
Bm2 is the same way. She has
Bm2 is the same way. She has four kids by 4 different dads, and two abortions (2 different dads still) in the mix. SD is kid #2 for her, and luckily for SD dumped her on us and never looked back, so she has been spared her quoting ways. But sd's older sister is going to be crazy messed up by this. She has a new "daddy" every few months, moves constantly from one guys house to another.
Bm2 is currently married to baby#4s daddy, so hopefully she stays put for a while so the younger two have some sence of stability. But the oldest one has serious attachment issues from it all. Attaches super easily and really deeply, and can turn it off in an instant, just like her mom. She's had 7 live in boyfriends that she's called daddy, and one female (not sure what she called that one) and sure only 11. I see nothing but short abusive relationships in her future.
My SS has a low opinion of
My SS has a low opinion of his mom for that same reason. He tells me with a look of disgust on his face that his mom has 3 boyfriends. He is 7. All she is doing is causing him to grow up with contempt for women.
I think it's incredibly wrong
I think it's incredibly wrong for people to introduce their bed buddies too early/often.
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DH didn't come around my kids until we'd been dating 6 or 8 months, I think. And he is the ONLY one I brought aruond my kids. (But I'm not a bedhopper, so that wasn't too hard.
I wonder, though, why do you believe that one set of legal actions should NOT be judged, but another set of legal actions should?
Simple....because one set of
Simple....because one set of actions involves only two consenting adults, and if both single if they want to bedhop go for it!
The other should IMO be judged because it negatively affects children who are not consenting to a revolving door of guys/lesbians in/out of mom/dads lives.
This causes them many attachment problems, promiscuity and risky behavior down the road. In other words these two consenting adults by flaunting in a childs face and switching two weeks later WILL affect said children. Even professionals and everyday opinion will advise against this because of the effects on kids.
What two consenting adults do in their own time, as long as it doesn't HURT anyone-is really NOBODY's business.
I honestly do get a little weirded out when I see smoms who bash bms for dating a lot just because they're in ONE relationship...it should be of no consequence/bsns to them UNLESS she's doing it in front of the kids. MAJOR difference.