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Advice for a new Co-Parent

BlackMamba24's picture
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Hello, Im new here so let me start by introducing myself, I'm a 26 year old single father who has a 2 year old from a previous relationship, ive recently moved on into a new relationship and im dating a woman who also has kids of her own. to keep it short and sweet ive been having thoughts lately about how much time im losing out on with my daughter, i only get her on the weekends and i am in the process of getting parenting time documented through the courts, i have a lawyer and i expressed that i would love to have her on a week on week off basis but her explained to me that a judge would never allow that due to her age. Going back to my relationship, i live with my girlfriend and her children and she has them 24/7 (no help from her children's father) and so with that being said i'm around them more than my daughter. now i know its due to circumstance, (my ex and i broke up, she cheated on me) but i just wanted some advice on how to deal with my feelings, it sucks not being able to see her everyday and be around her and being able to give her that stable home she deserves, She only gets her Daddy on the weekends and i just want to be the best father for her. Every weekend she comes over shes very excited to see me, and when its time to go back to her mom she cries and says she doesnt want to go Sad It sucks that she has to go through that, that her parents didnt work out the way it should. But ill take the blame for bringing a child into a situation that wasnt stable. I'd like to have a discussion with people whos gone through this and maybe even felt the same way. I greatly appreciate your responses, thank you.

Acratopotes's picture

oh dear.... if you wanted your daughter 24/7 you never should've left her mamma... regardless of what she did. Unfortunately this happens when parents split up, you do not get to see your child every day, you do not get to have every birthday, christmas, easter, you might miss out on first day of school,

You can not blame your GF and her kids for this, they have nothing to do with this, I would suggest you get your own place, move out of the GF place, tell her it's better, you still love her but until you know your schedule with your daughter it's very hard for you to be around her children 24/7 and not being able to see yours 24/7...

Or you sit back and you make piece with it, fine I had a baby with the wrong woman, this is our life now, let's make the best of it.... and accept what you have, when you have your daughter do not exclude your skids, they will resent you, either you are the father of 3 or you move out...

think carefully about week on week off, what would happen if your daughter goes to school and you had to move to different school district/town?
Yu can still give your daughter a stable home when she visits you, with this I mean if you and GF and her children are like a family and DD simply fits in as part of the family, a stable home provides boundaries, rules, chores, respect for every one in the house... those sort of things...
a stable home does not mean she needs to be there 24/7..... there's lots of kids in a home with both parents that's not stable, cause kids do what they want and parents do not care..