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Explaining stepmommy to SD4?

Onewillfullstepmom's picture

If anyone can shed some light on the best way to explain my role to SD, it would be greatly appreciated. She is 4 adn I hae pretty much always been in her life. She calls me by my name. We have her more often than not, and I can tell that she is starting to feel conflicted. She will tell me that she loves and then quickly tell me she loves her BM. So I want to explain my role, without using evil disney characters, preferably without stepping on BM's toes, and in a way that makes sense and does not make her feel like I am trying to replace BM....

Please let me know if you gave any advice.

Thanks!

Comments

oneoffour's picture

You tell her she can love anyone she wants.
And her father explains that her mommy is her mommy and you are his wife and you all love her.

Onewillfullstepmom's picture

She knows I am married to her father, she was at the wedding and she talks about it. I was hoping to give her a more clear idea of what a stepmom is...

TheyCallMeMOM's picture

good luck! this conflicted feeling continues forever. there are some great books for kids that would help. dinosaurs divorce is good for kids a little older than her 6-8 and there's a bear one for younger kids about divorce. tell her exactly what you are, you're her dad's wife and you love her very much. tell her that she has a HUGE heart and that there's room in her heart to love everyone, her mom, her dad, you, her pet, etc etc.

lil_lady's picture

I used desert toppings once...you mom is like the cake and im the extras like icing or a cherry. Not everyone gets it but its a nice extra... icing and cherrys can never replace cake cake will always be there!

BethAnne's picture

I'm your dad's wife and I am here to help him look after you, and I love you and him very much. (This is assuming that you participate in caring for her).