did so asked the grandparents if his daughter should also come here on BM's care days?
Just came back from the kitchen where the grandparents who stay with us for 2 month told me casually that "THEY didn't wanted SO to interrupt SDs routine by coming here in the times her mom is supposed to have her.And therefore SD would not come HERE on BMs care days".
I am confused.Shouldn't he talk to me first before he even offer that to his parents?Since first of all I have had an operation this week and recover at home and BM and my ex have all children for the whole week and in addition the whole one week on one week off arrangement wasn't what I wanted and still feel overrun by his decision after he promised it would be a solution we both would feel equally good about.
I get along well with SD, but this is not the point.The point is that this is after all, also my home.
I understand that the grandparents came here from overseas and they want to spend as much time as possible with their grandchild, understandable.What sucks is that he, once again , was suggesting to organise different arrangements with SD without consulting me first or even asking if I can cope with that after being in hospital.
He is out for the moment, but I am thinking I need to ask him if this is all true.
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100% you need to be consulted
100% you need to be consulted first before ANY discussions are made regarding anything to do with your home. This was a very tough lesson for my husband to learn but he finally did.
This is something that I
This is something that I canNOT get thru my DH's head...somehow, it always turns into, "Oh, I didn't know that I needed your 'permission' to have MY children in MY home!" The worst offense was upon my return home from a 4 week hospital stay... I was very ill... and rather than making arrangements to have the skids elsewhere for a few days while I recovered, he did the exact opposite and made arrangements for them to be at our home for 7 days straight so BM could go to Vegas...serioulsy, that was damn near the end! Anyway - we are still working on this...he is getting a little better, but still nowhere near the level of respect as I would appreciate him to be. I tried to tell him that these decisions affect the entire household... everything from daily schedules to daily meal planning to daycare... literally EVERYTHING is affected! It's only fair that I be included in the planning rather than a mere afterthought after he and BM have decided what is going to happen in MY HOME... ohhh, that makes me hot...I will be damned if another woman is going to dictate what happens in MY HOME...dammit, DH...do you hear me!?!?!?! Sorry - a little passionate about this one as I deal with it at least once/week (that's how often BM has to rearrange her schedule because she has something better to do than be with her children!) Done ranting... sorry! Anyway, Once - you definitely need to have this conversation with him. You deserve the respect to be given the chance to decide what happens in your home.