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Post for my sister

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Submitted by Omghelpme on Sun, 04/25/2021 - 8:19pm

Hello all.

This post is actually about my sister's situation regarding her stepchild. She is looking for resources for setting boundaries when it comes to toxic adult children, as all the resources she can find are about children setting boundaries with toxic parents. Is it even possible to distance from an adult child or should it ever happen? Can anyone provide their experience or resources?

SD bears painfully close resemblance to BM

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Submitted by Omghelpme on Tue, 03/02/2021 - 3:50pm

Does anyone else have a stepchild whose appearance and demeanor are exactly the same as the bio mothers? I've realized this makes it very difficult for me to stay non-judgmental toward her and I think it affects my DH also. When SD is around its almost like the ghost of BM, like it's retraumatizing for him. BM was very emotionally abusive to DH and is continuing some of it through SD. 

Embarrasment

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Submitted by Omghelpme on Wed, 02/24/2021 - 7:54pm

I don't know if I've seen this topic mentioned on here before. Does anyone else feel embarrassed of their stepchildren? It's hard because to me they're not really family, but to the outside world the (half BM) child is one of my immediate family members and child's half siblings and I feel ashamed of that.

Does anyone have experience with this behavior?

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Submitted by Omghelpme on Fri, 12/06/2019 - 5:26pm

My SD9 has always been a bit of a fibber. But recent it seems to have reached a new level. Not only is she lying, but the stories she tells make no sense and the more you ask questions the more confusing it gets. By the end of the conversation I'm so bewildered and confused that I would not even be able to explain the contents of the conversation hardly to a 3rd party. There will end up being 7 different versions that she tells of what happens, none of the details line up, some of the responses are just so odd and make such little sense that I dont even know what to make of it.

Why are my feelings sometimes the opposite of what they should be?

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Submitted by Omghelpme on Wed, 11/20/2019 - 1:35pm

I've noticed two different things as of late about myself that I don't really understand.

The first one is when my husband interacts with his daughter, instead of feeling proud of my husband or loving him for being a loving father, I have less positive feelings towards him. Is this just jealousy?

Conflicting wants/needs

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Submitted by Omghelpme on Tue, 11/12/2019 - 1:47pm

I'm starting to think stepfamilies are just not workable. And that no matter what, someone's needs are going to be unmet and that in some ways the remarried bioparent does in fact have to choose between the spouse and kids. After all, alot of what is good for the kids is the exact opposite of what is good for the new spouse. Or sometimes the bioparent. It seems as though stepfamilies are just a losing situation all around.

Burnt out

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Submitted by Omghelpme on Sun, 08/18/2019 - 1:13pm

Hi all.

I decided to make an account because I need someone to vent to that doesnt just automatically dismiss my feelings and try to make the conversation about the kid's feelings.

I have a stepdaughter who's been very difficult and unaccepting of me and my children from the beginning. That's gotten better (after 3 years of marriage). I wouldn't say she loves us but shes not openly hostile anymore.