DH and I can be around my Ex (BS11's dad). We can engage in brief conversations. We have sat together at sporting events. We are polite at drop off and pick up. I can call my Ex and we can discuss whatever needs to be discussed without there being an argument.

DH avoids BM at all costs. He will not attend anything that BM is at. He has learned through the many years of dealing with her that she is crazy and toxic so he avoids her at all costs. Even if that means missing a gskid's birthday party or whatever.

Her behavior has really affected his relationship with his kids. Not only because of the PAS that she does but because he finds it so hard to deal with BM that it often results in him having to push away some from the skids.

DH and BM are mostly civil to each other in public. There's an occasional tense moment, but for the most part both are on their best behavior in front of the kids.

I don't guilt my son because it isn't healthy. He spends most of his time at his mothers house now since he got a girlfriend. I keep in touch and see him about twice a month. I know your dh is excited about this trip but he is just hurting the boy by laying it on thick. At least that's what I get from reading this.

My Dh and the SS's BM have a cordial relationship as long as it is all in her favor. She can pretty much say and do what she wants and DH buckles under.
I, however, can't be within 25 feet of her without wanting to smack the crap out of her so I stay away. It's not really too hard since the only time I would have to be around her is at the SS's never ending sporting events and I would rather watch paint dry.

My Xh and I had a great relationship. Our BS even said we should write a book on how to co-parent in a divorce situation.
That all went to hell a year ago and now we have NOTHING to do with each other.
XH took my kindness for weakness and actually had the nerve to ask for me to give him back the CS that he paid....really?? $50 a week is too much for you
so you want me to give you $2000 back?? It wasn't like he overpaid. He actually still owes me about $10,000.00 in back CS.
I just never pushed it because in every other way he was a decent dad. But that pushed me too far, I told him to shove it and he went on a
tirade to me and said some horrible things. Since then he only looks at me with disgust and I ignore him. BS is 18 now anyway so
as long as neither tries to turn BS against the other, things will remain as they are.

My DH and skid's BM can be civil to each other and attend his events at the same time because my DH is a grown up and BM tries to not look like a psycho in public. She'll call and scream and rant at him, sure, and he hangs up. But in front of people she'll just pretend she's civil. DH just laughs at her so he's fine with being civil for skid's sake, she's more pathetic than anything.

With my son's dad, it was a non issue as he didn't exercise visitation and had to be chased down for CS which didn't start coming regularly until my DS was almost 10. The last time he saw my DS26, he was 6 months old. Never even sent one Xmas or Bday card. Nothing. That was his "revenge" for me not marrying him. He popped up again when my DS was about 19 and wanted to meet him - but the ship had sailed at that point. My son politely declined although he HAS met and is close to his half-sister. I was sad for my son but relieved when I saw how BM was to DH!

DH had a No Contact Order placed in the CO because of how crazy BM was. BM was only allowed to snail mail or go through the neutral third-party exchange site unless there was an emergency or last minute change in schedule. Then she was allowed to text. She fought that more than ANYTHING else that my DH asked for. The judge even said that my DH was being so reasonable with what he was asking for and if it would have been up to the judge (i.e., if they hadn't mediated it prior to the hearing), she would have given my DH more.

I am on good terms with my ExH, although he lately has gone through BS21 to tell me things instead of calling/texting me himself. He's got an issue apparently. We've been divorced a LONG time, it took years to get to a civil place. But we never put our child in the middle during those years.

As for DH, he tried the being civil thing with his ex, all it did was cause trouble. FF to now, 8 years later, BM is not allowed to have any contact with SD13 until she is good with the court. So basically SD will never see her again until she is over 18. BM and DH are to only have email contact, per the court. She texts him and calls him constantly, but no emails. ...sigh... She doesn't care about rules, obviously.

I have nothing at all to do with his BM issues. That is entirely his problem to deal with.

In my/our situation, we are 45 minutes away from DD15 BD so we never see him or his wife outside of drop-off or pick-up. Dd sees him maybe 1-2 times a year due to their relationship difficulties. On those 2 instances of the year, we are courteous enough to stay in the car and wait for her to come out. Neither of us care to see or deal with the other so we just don't - all visitations are arranged through her and him texting information back and forth. I am not included at all - which suits me fine now that she is almost 16.

When she was younger and we did have more interaction, he was not allowed in my house (could only come to the door) and I never went in his either. By his choice, he never came to any of her school functions, teachers meetings, programs, etc. If I would happen to see them on the street now, I would just nod my head as recognition but not engage in any conversation more than I would any other stranger. Does that make me an "other, other people"? lol

I get along with my EX, but will avoid having to deal with him at all costs. He's weird. Acts strange. Has a lot of personal baggage leftover from me divorcing him. We have an adult child, so it's not hard. From my understanding, it doesn't bother our child.

DH and BM, on the other hand. They can barely be face to face or in the same room without some sort of conflict. BM always ends-up making an ass of herself and doesn't care who witnesses it. i cannot imagine what it must be like for SK10 - having a mother that can't behave herself, especially in public, and a father fruitlessly trying to do damage control.

Mine hates me, has told me he wishes I was dead and says lies about me infront of our child to his girlfriend. He sends hateful emails and gives our son messages for me. We parallel parent and I only speak to him if necessary and try to only do so via text or email. Good times for all.

Wow, I do feel kinda sorry for the kid because I do believe that has been and is his life. NOT GOOD! I would be like the moms in the bible where they are fighting over the kid and the ruler says I'll cut him in half and give you each one half and the real mother says no let her have him.

OP what happened that caused so much animosity?

I have had times like this with my x that were absolutely horrible and it is due to the fact that he is mentally ill (truly). Things are somewhat calm right now.

My ex and I have a good co-parenting relationship. He understands our boundaries and never crosses them. When he picks up the kids he can have a conversation with myself and SO when necessary however it is always regarding the kids. It wasn't always this way but has evolved as time has gone by which is understandable.

SO and BM - they did have an amicable relationship prior to me. However that was because SO allowed her to do as she pleased. When we moved in together I initiated boundaries and as any narcissist would do she flipped her shit. And just for clarity so I am not portrayed as the 'mean SM' boundaries means she was no longer allowed to just break into our house! Huh who'd a thought that was something to actually be said lol.