She kept calling herself his wife - a good six times
So I'm in a certified domestic partnership. I"m not married for a couple of reasons 1)he never asked and 2) His house with the ex wife hasn't been put on the market and one of us would lose our homestead exemption status. So his ex wife had the kids on some kind of State welfare system for health insurance but its based on income. She got remarried and when it came time to recertify the kids, the state asked for her income tax return and drivers license which showed that she had gotten married and her her husband makes a lot of money owning his own automotive shop so they count everyone in the household;s income and her kids were kicked out of the state welfare program. Psuedo SD13 is a type 1 diabetic and has to have insurance. I'm also quite fond of her and BCBS would cover the insulin pump she wants. So my job said yes I could put them on my insurance during open enrollment and I did. So SD13 has been using it with no problems. SD15 had some kind of cyst from an ingrown hair and the claim was denied. we got a letter in the mail this week that said they believe she has other insurance under her mother and that would be the primary and mine as a step parent would be secondary. They also wanted the divorce decree which said who had financial responsiblity for insurance.
So we are sitting in my bedroom with the baby and I tell him "I think they think she still has state welfare insurance" and that he needed to find out so he calls ex wife right then and there and she's on speaker phone and they were on the phone for a good twenty minutes making stupid ass plans "we will just get the divorce decree and white out where it says mother and type in father and send it in" but the worst was she kept referring to herself as his wife. She kept saying a good six seven eight times "You just need to call them on the phone and tell them your wife didn't know she was on medicaid and she thought it was canceled. Your wife never put them on medicaid but just put her sister." At first I thought she was talking about me but no she was refering to herself as his wife. And he never corrected her. Not once did he say "you mean ex wife." I'm like "Am I providing her children with health insurance and she is repeatedly making a dig at me?"
He and I got in a pretty good argument after their stupid speaker phone call ended. I'm like "you and I are supposed to be partners. I told you how to best deal with this. Blue Cross is just who the City uses to process claims but the CITY pays all claims through all the coworkers contributions with the city's contributions. They make the decisions. They said we could cover her. Take the letter down to our City office and get it straight" and then you just go and make stupid plans to committ fraud for no good reason with your ex and I have to listen to you both disrepect me !!!!!! Keep that crap up and yall can pay for the insurance!"
But then I kinda think that is what she wanted. to cause us to fight and she kept calling herself his wife to make me mad and it worked . But If he had just corrected her dumb ass just one time.. "Oh.. are we committing bigamy?!?! Cause I think you have a husband other than myself" She left him for and married his now former best friend. She got really pissed and cried like someone had died when he told her I was pregnant with DD7months.
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I don't do it for them. SD13
I don't do it for them. SD13 is a great kid and my DD7month's half sister and she loves her and vice versa and she absolutely has to have insurance. Insulin without it is over a $1000. This insulin pump is going to really change her life for the better. It doesn't cost me anymore. Family coverage is family coverage and it doesn't matter how many people are in the family
.... yes, but still, if SO's
.... yes, but still, if SO's ex ever referred to herself as his "wife" I'd lose my lunch. We know that Ex's are assholes, but DH was wrong and insensitive not to say something to the EX particularly with his ACTUAL WIFE standing there...
but ... bmom86... you do have
but ... bmom86... you do have me thinking.... the problem is with SD15's coverage not SD13 and SD15 is the one with a history of being snotty and disrepectful to me and says mean 3things about the baby to please her mother .... so I don't have to do work very hard to fix this now do I. I can let him and his "wife" attempt to fix this, not being hte policy holder.
and I'm not his wife. This month he keeps saying he is buying a ring and proposing soon but he hasn't.
... okay, you're not his
... okay, you're not his wife.... but she isn't his wife... That was just wrong. I'd be hurt and insulted, myself... not cool.
I would be pissed that he
I would be pissed that he didn't correct her, also.
BM used to call DH's work and leave messages that his "wife" called. He would call me and find out that I didn't call, it had to be BM. He would never call her back.
They definitely do it on purpose.
Yep they do... they just
Yep they do... they just suck.
I'm an Ex wife... when I kicked my ex husband to the curb, I never looked back. Not a word. Never. Haven't seen, spoken to or heard a thing about him since. Period.
I was my ex husband's second
I was my ex husband's second wife. He is man in his forties married to a girl he met off the internet in her twenties. I went to his part time job at the video store for some reason or another with the kids and one of his customer's asked if I was his wife and I replied I was wife # 2. It was a dig at him being married three times but he definitely corrected me in front of her saying I was his ex wife.
I think the worst was talking
I think the worst was talking about using white out to commit insurance fraud. This is the insurance provided by your job. Using white out to change the names on the decree could impact your job.
I would have freaked out during that conversation.
Hubby needs to know that you will not be submitting white out changed legal documents.
Right? Let's just use white
Right? Let's just use white out on this legal document and change it however we want. I'm sure that will be fine.
Crap, if only I would have thought of this years ago, I could have changed DH's CS amount.
In the beginning when we
In the beginning when we argued because of BM I would always say - well she has two husbands. That pissed him off and he asked that I stop doing it. I did - it was coming from a mean place in me. Now to bust my balls whenever she shows up at a function he always says - oh look your wife-in-law is here. She always asked what is so funny.
That's classic! Before I
Before I got SO to block and delete her, confession... I would refer to her as his wife to Him.. Pissed him off to no end.
My DD and YSD had medicaid
My DD and YSD had medicaid for emergency when they both ended up int e hospital within two weeks of each other. Because of that emergency medicaid they had we had issues with our insurance denying claims and assuming we had other primary insurance for the girls. i had to call them every year to tell them that we did not have any other insurance and that we never qualified for medicaid. This was a one time emergency situation that provided us the means to have DD appendix taken on and YSD to be hospitalized because she was becoming dehydrated when she could not keep anything down.
Get the proof that the kids were kicked off assistance, send that into your insurance company. Do not commit fraud for BM. That will screw you and no one else!!!
IamexhaustedSM , totally! I
IamexhaustedSM , totally! I could tell from the letter that they thought she was on medicaid and maybe she was or wasnt at one time but she isn't now and that can be proven very easily and I simply asked him to get that cancellation letter or proof from his ex wife and I thought a 2 minute phone call would have accomplished that and I was seriously wondering about his morals and character when he was nodding his head to the whole "white out" solution and there other stupid shennagins on a twenty minute phone call! They had a whole contigency plan if the white out failed too. Then they were going to go back to court and get the decree changed to the father would provide health insurance because "mom covered for five years and now its dads' turn." She didn't pay anything towards their health insurance and he didn't/won't either so I had to. I thought my eyes were going to roll back in my head and never come out again. SD15 really never had a chance with two stupid parents. I often remark that I have no idea where SD13 came from because she is like neither one of her parents.
I took my kids to Disney World for Spring Break. She was texting me about a claim being denied and "I told yall so! I knew this was going to happen! Its because the children don't have their own insurance card with their name on it that matches my address!" Cause that's what medicaid does. So she must be familiar with medicaid. Private insurance has it under the primary's name and dependants are in the computer. The card just has the policy holder's name on it. Every member of the family doesn't get their own card with their own name. But I wasn't going to fight with her or even engage with her especially not while on vacation. and I texted back that I'm sure they would figure it out and get it straighten out by calling the insurance company and the city. She and her "husband". So no they didn't straighten it out and their grand plan to ensure their daughter has health insurance is white out.
I'm on year five with him.
I'm on year five with him. And maybe, upon doing some self reflecting, on why the word "wife" made me mad I thought he keeps saying that he's going to propose and buy a ring and I keep saying "Don't because I can't marry you because I'll lose my homestead exemption or I can't marry you because then I can't claim head of household and I'll lose money in my tax return" are excuses for "just don't ask me to marry you because I don't think I could say yes". Did I get pregnant on purpose to trap him and force him to marry me as BM suggests everyday. No. I cried and cried and cried when I got that positive pregnancy test. I've never asked him to marry me and I never will. I already have three wonderful children and paying $800 a month on childcare is hard and yes there are many things I have seen in his character that leave me concerned but we were just dating and we are talking about white out and the proposal of using it, people on this site's husbands have done worse You are right on though that I think my morals are much superior to his and I hope my baby has my character but you aren't right about me trying to trap him with my baby. I get no benefit from this relationship financially and never have. He and she benefit financially from me but not vice versa. He's almost 50 and I am in my late thirties. I just didn't want to have an abortion. I really thought he'd be long long gone and he's suprised me and has stuck around and I'm not sorry about my baby. She's just wonderful. So cute and smart and everyone who meets her loves her. And I didn't do such a good job picking the dad for my other three but they also are in gifted and are beautiful and well behaved and they are just great and their dad has faults too but we coparent. and if he and I don't make it, well, we will coparent as well.
And I know I'm no English professor like Step Off and that my spelling and grammar aren't as perfect as hers, but there is no need to give me the definitions of three such easy words. I would pick one really hard one like meretricious. I like to use that word about BM.
We had to go to court once
We had to go to court once and they referred to BM as my DH's ex-wife. I was so pissed that he didn't correct it. They were never married. He HAS no ex-wife. I am his first and ONLY wife!