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Holidays...?

not the mamma's picture

Submitted by not the mamma on Thu, 11/13/2014 - 12:49pm

I've been with my fiancé for over 3 years now, and every year BM comes Trick or Treating with us and SD5 (let it be known that BM and I actually co-parent very well together with no MAJOR issues) but still, don't I deserve some of MY family time too? Also, our agreement on Christmas is that one of us gets her Christmas Eve, and the other Christmas Day, it alternates every year and every time she has to stay and watch SD open her gifts at our house.. which the first two years I understood. Now, SD is 5 and we recently bought a house and I am PRAYING that she doesn't drop her off this year and invite herself in to watch her open more gifts.. like, didn't you just watch her open them at YOUR own house? Does any one else have this issue? My SO says we should pick our own battles and I know she just wants to spend time with her daughter, but c'mon.

Comments

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Thu, 11/13/2014 - 1:02pm

I would never allow her in my home. My Skids mom dropped them off one year for their weekend visit (she's only dropped them off 3x's in 5yrs) and asked to use the bathroom. I said NO, there's a gas station right down the street.

not the mamma's picture

Submitted by not the mamma on Fri, 11/14/2014 - 9:40am

BM and my SO always buy separate gifts.. never bought one together. I understood the first year because she just turned 2 and it starts the fun of watching her on chritmas.. the second year annoyed me.. and last year she came to pick her up while we were still unwrapping! I think SO and I are just going to have to go pick her up this year so there is no chance of her coming inside! I am unfortunately too nice of a person, and don't really open my mouth to her.. I guess I have to start doing so!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 11/13/2014 - 1:10pm

She can spend time with her daughter at HER house. Instead of BM dropping SD off, have your SO go pick her up.

Proper boundaries IS a battle worth fighting. Make your boundaries known for your new home and stick to them (and your SO needs to back you up).

There is a difference (and a fine line) between co-parenting and being one big happy family. BM needs to stay on her side of that line.

not the mamma's picture

Submitted by not the mamma on Fri, 11/14/2014 - 9:41am

You are completely right, and said it perfectly. I feel like BM wants to be "one big happy family" because she is jealous that her life has now turned to shit and keeps trying to butt into mine. Im over it!

not the mamma's picture

Submitted by not the mamma on Fri, 11/14/2014 - 9:43am

We have never watched her open gifts at BMs house. I think she just likes to watch to secretly see how much money we spend.. that was another thought. That letter is perfect, I will definitely talk to my SO about sending her that email. Thank you!

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 11/13/2014 - 4:36pm

Ummmmm... no way. BM and I coparent pretty well, and have for 10 years now, but there is no reason for her to be a part of our family time. You need to put a stop to that.

not the mamma's picture

Submitted by not the mamma on Fri, 11/14/2014 - 9:44am

I've started to think that its her sneaky way of seeing how much money we spend. This is definitely going to stop this year!