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History

no1smaid's picture

I realised that while I have been giving everyone a blow by blow of what has gone on this week, I never posted a history behind all of family. DH and I were married almost 4 years ago. We met through a blind date set up by of all people, his mother. We clicked and dated for a year and a half then got married.

He married straight out of HS to a girl his parents could not stand. Classic case of she got pregnant they got hitched. That baby is skid#1. Two years later he filed for divorce and amazingly enough she was pregnant. By law they could not divorce while she was pregnant so he was stuck. He took skid#1 and moved out, she had skid#2 and the state gave him custody of that skid as well. Divorce went through. A year later he had a massive lack in judgement and 'tried again for the sake of the kids'. No they did not remarry but she ended up pregnant, twice. Odd thing is while the first two skids look exactly like him, almost carbon copies, the youngest two look nothing like him at all. Do not even look like BM.

Six months after skid#4 was born, he bailed and took all four kids with him. He is fairly certain the youngest two are not his biologically, but his name is on their birth certificates, he raised them, so they are his, legally and emotionally. Over the next half a dozen years BM made his life hell. Stalking him, causing problems at his job. Literally hundreds of calls to state agencies alleging abuse, including sexual, slashed tires, broken windows, etc. A year after he and I started dating she found out where I lived and broke in. My house was trashed and she was arrested, the felony arson charge stuck, yes she lit my house on fire. She went to jail/ prison and while in jail they determined she was a paranoid schitzophrenic (sorry I know I spelled that wrong)is bipolar and has a few other 'minor' mental health issues. She refuses to medicate so about a year ago the state terminated her parental rights completely. Long history of snatching the kids from school, refusing to return them to DH, disappearing with them for weeks on end causing them to fail school etc.

The skids are aware she is not good for them. They themselves admit that she is not a good influence and can not take care of herself let alone them. DH over the years in an attempt to make it up to the kids for their mom literally being a nut has over compensated and has been more of a friend/ adult influence than an actual parent. This led to the kids issues,

skid1 the princess, gets whatever she wants when she wants it, does nothing but what she wants to do and alarmingly does show signs of her mothers personality

skid2 the pouter, literally pouts, cries and temper tantrums if things do not go his way. Thinks nothing of lying to get instant gratification, damn the consequences.

skid3, the lying thief. kid was caught with her hand in my wallet. She can look you dead in the eyes and lie with such conviction you question your own sanity.

skid4, the baby, acts 5 years younger than he is. Recently entering the lying manipulative sectors the others have been living in for years.

DH should have been harder on them younger, but with the batshit crazy BM involved and constantly running off with them, I can see some of the reason why he went soft on them. Enter me. I am not soft, though I will admit I am not as hard as my FIL apparently is. The kids initially thought chores/rules were cool, then it got old and they just didn't understand why when they didn't want to do them anymore... why they still had to!

This marine style take over of the house has been a long time coming. Last night hearing four voices offering up yes sir, yes maam, please and thank you was music to my years. It is a shame they could not learn from less drastic measures, but at least they are learning now!

Comments

no1smaid's picture

Yep.

I think that's why when his mom set him up on a blind date he went. Didn't trust his own judgement in women.