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what are our rights does anyone know!

newlymarried's picture

As some of you know by now i have a 4 year old ss whose bm is a complete moron! We have full custody of my ss. which she volunteered! she didn't show up for the court date even! The custody papers only say that visitation will be agreed on by both parties. there is no legal set visitation times. Easter is coming up and she had him last year. but because she usually gets him every other wkend she feels we should give up our holiday with him. I don't think thats fair. We offered for her to still have him earlier this week and we would take the hour drive to come get him Sunday morning. still thats not good enough and she proceeds to say that its our fault she doesn't see him. she has been told time and time again to buy herself a car or find a ride and she is more than welcome to come get him as much as she likes. Hell i would appreciate the break sometimes. She continues to curse me call me out of my name through texting! I call and she won't answer the phone. I am so fed up with her crap i don't know how much more i can take without beating her teeth in. I know that is extreme but holy crap one person can only take so much! Thought maybe someone on here would be able to give me some ideas on how to deal with a ignorant BM after reading some of you guys blogs i know you have to deal with some idiots to!

Comments

TheWife's picture

You have the right not to deal with her and tell your DH, "Your BM, your problem."

I will always and forever be an advocate of letting the man handle BM. He should deal with her. I am not saying you guys can't make decisions together, because you should, but he should deal with communications with her. Always.

____________________________________________________________________

Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

Rags's picture

From the limited info you provided I would say that you do not have to take the kid to BM ever. Most jurisdictions require each party to transport the kid to their location for visitation. Based on this premise BM has to come pick the kid up and your DH has to go get him at the end of the weekend.

Since there is no established visitation agreement your DH as the CP can decide which holidays he wants and not only when but if BM sees the kid at all. Since she refused to come pick the kid up I would say NO VISITATION.

We have never facilitated my SS's visitation with his SpermClan. If they want him for the visitation schedule defined in the Judgement, they have to give us at least 60day notice (required in the Judgement). If they do not call, we don't call them and they are shit outa luck if they decide they want him if it is inside the 60day window. If we have made plans they are screwed, if we have not made plans and SS-17 wants to go for some SpermClan time then we let him go.

For sure I would get out of the beck-and-call business with BM. Neither you not hour DH should be at her beck and call. She certainly is not at either your's or the kid's.

IMHO of course.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

mermaid33's picture

We do the same thing. My SD BM does not have a car either. So we always have to take the kid to her. I just dont see how that's fair! Get a job and get a freaking car just like everyone else!!!!!!!

newlymarried's picture

Well i think it is crap! i am not going to continue to be her bitch. I am done letting myslef and my husband be a gopher for her. we got a call tonight from her and her boyfriend gets on the phone yelling and cursing like some mad man and so now we aren't letting her see him at all. We are calling our attorney first thing in the morning. A judge will enforce the fact that she has any visitation at all. I am so fed up with her. I wish i could provoke her enough to make a swing at me. An no matter what I say to her she tucks her little tail and says nothing. I just wonder if a fight did break between her and I if that gives her any leverage to take to court? I mean is that enough for her to take over control of the custody of my ss? because i am seriously about to go crazy trying to deal with her all the time and letting her talk to me the way she does and do nothing