Why can’t I just put on my big girl panties on and WALK
Why do I keep doing this? Why do I keep living in this world where my husband thinks it’s only about his SD and him. So graduation was yesterday...he informs me today she will be coming to our house next weekend so we can celebrate. Ok, I get it...I understand the celebration. It’s an occasion to celebrate. Figure we grill, eat and I clean while he tells her how perfect she is and is the only person who has a brain...yayayaya!
Now, here’s the kicker. My husband and I moved back to MY hometown a few months ago. I’ve been gone for a while...most here don’t even know my husband has kids from a previous marriage. There are a few people that we hang out with that do know his SD but They know her from my husband talking about her. I mean we didn’t even send them a graduation announcement. Well, he just comes in tonight and informs him he wants to throw a party next weekend for his SD and invite these people.
Really, it’s just so fake....here is what it’s really about 1.) He is not doing the party for the SD. It’s so he can drink with all his buddies and he knows I don’t want it at my house...but if he uses it as a party for the SD he thinks I will have to say yes or then he will tell me I’m a bitch for not wanting to do something for her..hell, I’d take out to eat.
2.) Then the SD will walk in wearing something a stripper would have on with her lover and my husband knows I don’t care for her lifestyle. Then he will literally treat her like the Queen of Sheba and go as far as cutting her meat up for her because she might mess her nails up. It’s thst bad!
UGHHHHHHH Why do I keep doing this to myself?
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Just walk away. You only live
Just walk away. You only live once. That’s not worth it whatsoever.
Just
walk
away.
My husband used to do this
Tell me he had arranged a party on blah blah blah date and time and invited his family friends and neighbors over (50 people), i was expected to cater. In early marriage ok i did it but once pregnant with 1-2 toddlers, no way!!
then when my son was a newborn, he made an executive decision to do one in the evening at a time i am non stop breastfeeding, i don’t want to entertain people when i’m exhausted breastfeeding non stop. That day started with hubby taking off for 7 hours for a last minite work meeting when he knew the rules were he had to be home and he had to clean and tidy up, not me and i wanted people gone early, not camping out till midnight. That evening ended real late and with my husband trying to pry off my newborn son from my boobs whilst breastfeeding for hours and we found out an adult niece decided to come over infected with bronchitis or some serious contagious infection.
i was barely 7weeks post emergency csection and the idiot niece even hugged my newborn son that evening and with his serious allergies, our dr told us the common flu or virus was always going to be serious with him because he would have trouble breathing, more so than other kids so we need to prevent and deal with those flus viruses etc quickly.
Needless to say i lost my shit at hubby and his family. Hubby said he didn’t want to address his niece coming over sick (idiot left all her meds at our home that only got prescribed that day!!) we fought alot and hubby was terrified of divorce. Now it has been almost 2 years we or i don’t do these parties in my home. I do not cater. Even if hubby thinks he’ll call a caterer he does not make executive decisions and plans without discussing and getting approval from me.... some of my sils miss these parties i cater for but if the nieces can’t control their children to be respectful of our and our kids things, i don’t want them in our home.
Any party usually involves the adult nieces daughter (6yrs old being the centre of focus), she even blows out my daughter or husbands birthday candles because again she is and has to be the centre of attention when she isn’t
it is your right to demand these things.
If he wants to do a party for
If he wants to do a party for her let him plan EVERYTHING. Tell him you're graciously stepping away and let him decorate, plan, and clean up. You will have no parts of it but just sit back and look at all the fake BS that's going on. I wouldn't lift a finger and if he wants it so bad....he's a big boy....he can do it!
So put your big girl panties on disengage and let him plan the party of a lifetime.
Before you walk
read this for some inspiration: "Pleasing you is killing me" it's on Amazon kindel as well. I'm reading it now and it is very relatable.
Graduation
My wife's children 18 and 19 have graduations next month. The relationships with the SC is strained where I will not be attending. Also she celebrated mothers day but without me, clearly because I am made to feel as if a third wheel. So this graduation, I will be playing golf.
My question is do I give them a card and gift card. I believe a card. They never say thank you for a gift unless their mother says " Say thank you."