He's through with me...My valentine's day gift
DH has been very stressed lately - about work, health, etc. In addition to having to cope with his perceived problems, I get to deal with his 16 yo daughter.
We were driving to work on VD day and he was complaining about everything. I told him that his constant complaining was taking a toll on me. He started screaming at me and said he was "through with me".
So, that's what I got for Valentine's day. No flowers, no card, etc. Later on he apologized to me and said he didn't mean it and wanted to take his two valentine's (me and SD) out to dinner. I told him to forget it.
When I got home, SD didn't do the chores she was asked to do and didn't let the dog out, so I was greeted by two messes. Then I got the cell phone bill and noticed she racked up $200 extra in charges again (for the 4th month in a row). All hell broke lose and I lost it.
Tonight, all is quiet on the home front and no one is talking.
I have some serious thinking to do about my future. I can't (and won't) live like this anymore.
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Comments
Time for DH to step up.
Just a thought take it how you will. I think maybe dh needs to stand by you when it comes to rules and following them. Not only that if he wants to vent thats one thing but he doesn't need to take it out on you. Time to have a serious talk with dh. He and his daughter need to show some respect for others and respect for things. Otherwise they could lose everything and stand your ground.
I hope things turn around for the good for all of you and you get past this bump in the road. Just remember you love him even if you don't like him right now. Step parents have it rough and I don't think I could do it or even want to do it.
Good Luck!!!
Nice Gift
How men think they can get away with walking all over you. When did you become his door mat and your SD's bank account? She is not made to take responsiblity so why should she? My ex husband left me on valentines day two years ago and it was the best gift I could have ever received. I came to terms with it and moved on. I am re-married now. Life goes on you just have to figure out what you are willing to put up with and what you are not willing to put up with. If the cons outway the pros and your not happy you need to talk about and figure out where to go from here.
Good luck
Ellen
Happy F-in V Day
I can totally sympathize! (hugs) My BF and I called off our 2 1/2 year relationship (well, rather he did) about four months ago. There was a lot of stress over his kids, and he said he just couldn't handle everything, and needed time to focus on them. Sounds like a load of crap to me, but anyway. His two daughters hadn't talked to him the entire time we were together except to ask for money. They finally started coming around, and I became invisible. It's like THEY were his lovers, not his daughters, and I was relegated to the position of a child in the family. (Anybody know what I mean?) He was so happy they were back in his life, he doesn't want to do anything to alienate them, and they hate me (for no apparent reason other than I'm not their mother) so let's get rid of me and they can be a happy family again! They are 17 and 16 years old, and extremely spoiled daddy's girls. He sent them each a dozen red roses and some diamond jewelry for V Day, and took them out to the most expensive restaurant in our area. Last year, I got a card. He can't pay his bills, but just bought the 16 year old a brand new 2007 Blazer for her birthday, and she doesn't even have a permit yet! There's NO ROOM for a girlfriend or wife when the daughters are put into that role. You're better off on your own.
They'll be grown and gone soon, with all his money, then what. Happy V Day indeed. LOL
Randee
Troubles with Teenage Daughters
Randee
I can sympathize with you when it comes to Daddy's girls. My BF has a 16 year old who is currently doing the same type of thing - she has no time for him except to call and ask for stuff. When he buys her something expensive, it's all hugs and "I love you, Daddy!" Then by the next week she doesn't even return his phone calls. Right now, I really don't mind because she's not around. But I do worry that eventually it will turn into a situation like yours where she will start coming around again and then I'll be on the back burner after picking up the pieces of her father she has been smashing for several years. I pray that won't happen and that he will have courage in the face of it all. I hope he does not roll over for her. But I am already reserving a piece of my heart in case of that possibility, because if it happens I am hitting the road. To me, it's almost like a case of emotional infidelity. Today, you love me and I'm a priority in your life. Tomorrow, I'm second best and your little girl takes priority? Nope. Not for me. Not my idea of a balanced adult relationship.
Take the phone away
I can't even believe BD would let a phone come between you. I'd say "It's me or her cell phone"
Can you get one of those pre-paid accounts and if she goes over it too bad - the phone's out. That'll teach her the value of money.
BD is not doing his child any favours by letting her run the shop.
He needs to get his priorities straight. Valentine's for the daughter - more like he should administer a punishment for abusing your hospitality by allowing a child who is not your BD to treat his wife like a door mat.
Thank God I only see my SD for a few hours Friday night and briefly Saturday morning and it was a condition of our marriage that she would never come and live with us full time.
I'd be steamed too.