husband does not sleep in our bed when kids visit - he stays with them
Last five visits my dh sleeps with his kids. He managed about three hours the most with me on one visit and thinks that I need to sort my head out.
Our daughters first christmas he wakes up early opens presents with his other kids at 5am, trys to wake me. I'm sleeping with the baby as I'm knackered then leaves. I wake up at 8am because baby is crying and his nowhere too be seen. As his asleep in the spare room on our babies first christmas!
But I'm the one that needs to sort it out?
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Not our bed, he sleep in the
Not our bed, he sleep in the room we have for them. Everything I say he thinks is unreasonable.
Between 9 and 14 - 3
Between 9 and 14 - 3 kids
Been together 3 years
Our baby now 1 years old
I grabbed onto the last
I grabbed onto the last sentence of this post. Of course he thinks everything you say is unreasonable because you are forcing him to question his behavior and actions! You aren't unreasonable! My BF is the same darn way! Invariably, I have to gently nudge (albeit without him realizing!) in order for him to see things from a more healthy perspective. My BF slept in my SS's room until the child kicked him out! It is so common in blended families for the birth parents to overcompensate and actually the children end up suffering. My BF is borderline pathetic when it comes to the "power" SS has over him. I adore, adore, adore my SS. He is like my own (I call his BM the babysitter!) but that doesn't mean I let him push me around, manipulate me to get his way. I am probably his most constructive parent! I would perhaps talk to a professional to get some guidance as to how you should approach this. I could offer advice but a professional will understand the dynamic better and be able to give you proper instruction as to how to handle yourself in the situation. Best of luck with this. I feel your pain, as they say. I've been there.
Two girls 1 boy
Two girls
1 boy
Are the girls the older ones?
Are the girls the older ones? That IS pretty creepy. How do they act to him throughout the day? These girls are past the age of development.. it's really not proper for dad to be sleeping with them... Even the boy. These kids are WAY too old.
I used to let my kids sleep
I used to let my kids sleep with me pccasionally because it was like a big slumber party and we missed each other so much when they were away!
After I married DH this all stopped. But if DH is away, even my big kids will comein there and sleep with me. We're a really huggy cuddly family, but it doesn't take the place of DH. We're not some kind of freak hippie family either.
Sometimes I sleep upstairs (we have 5 beds up there) and stay up watching movies with the kids, or we all sleep in recliners. It's only when the kids are here.
I don't want DH telling me I have to be in there with him all the time when my kids visit. I want to visit with them! It doesn't mean I love him less.
While I think that most of the time it is normal for your DH to hang with the kids, I think he failed to see your point about the baby's first Christmas. It was a night you wanted to share with him and he went off and did his own thing. I chalk that up to him already being a dad and he didn't consider that this was your first time being a mommy. He needs to think about your needs to. It would be nice if he could say that he could see your point. I think if he acknowledged and understood how you feel, this problem could be diffused.
My dh sometimes refuses to see my point just to make me mad. In turn, I just get madder and more frustrated.
My husband slept with his
My husband slept with his kids fairly often after his separation. They were ages 4-11. The girls would bring their mattresses to his room (Dh's mattress and the boys mattresses were already in DH's room.. no one had actual beds at that time) and they would tell stories and all... I think that was good for the kids. But even before our marriage, he went from allowing them into his room, to laying in the girls room and telling stories until they fell asleep (only occasionally) and doing the same with the boys separately in their room, and then cutting it out almost completely. Now, if one of the boys has had a hard day, he will lay in the room with them for a few minutes to talk and make them feel better, but this is rare. They are 6, not babies, but still having tender needs.
If he were to actually want to sleep in the room with SD13 and SD9, I would really, really question his judgment there.
Ladies as always your the
Ladies as always your the best. Now I know its not just me that things it is abnormal. Can you imagine the joy it gives bm. It started with I feel sick skids to him just doing it
Not our bed, he sleep in the
Not our bed, he sleep in the room we have for them. Everything I say he thinks is unreasonable.
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