I'm present in their lives. I inject myself in their lives .They talk to their mom and to each other. They rush in to our room in the morning and tell her good morning and completely ignore me . Bed time is the same. 

I can call step kids on their cells and they ignore it. They have memorized their moms and dads and grandparents cell phones yet I'm an active step dad.

If I play with them eg hide their ball all in good fun so we can find it, they run to mom crying and she says not to do it as the kids don't like it.