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Depression.

mommawowa's picture

Submitted by mommawowa on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 7:27pm

I feel like I'm sinking again.

I've been trying to be just happy. Just let things go. Just focus on my daughter and I. And my husband.

Today Darth Vader tried to attack my DH in a way when she was texting SS10 after school (he was hurt by something she DIDN'T do and instead of just saying I'm sorry, she tried to make him upset that his dad wasn't there).

Anyway, I'm not concerned about the situation that happened. I'm upset. All my old feelings of anger, hatred, and the uncontrollable word diarrhea all came rushing back.

Why do I let this woman control my mind and my feelings? It's my own fault. I just don't know how to get her out of my head. I like to kid myself and try to convince myself that she's just as concerned about me as I am her. I know she could give a flying flip about me. That's probably what makes me even more mad. Sad

Comments

imjustthemaid's picture

Submitted by imjustthemaid on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 7:57pm

I'm sorry you are so depressed Sad Its sounds like you have been down for awhile. Sometimes when you are sad about one thing it makes everything else untolerable.

If you talk to someone you might feel better. I don't know your whole back story but I would just ignore BM and anything that comes with her. I know its easier said than done. I have a few issues that I am dealing with (not BM related) and there were days I just couldn't pull it together. But I have BD4 and DD10 that need to be taken care of so you just get up and do what you have to do.

This year was a bad one for me. I am hoping next year is better. My mother had open heart surgery, my sister just found out she has breast cancer, my DD broke her collar bone and needed surgery. I keep getting sick probably from all the stress. I have a huge infection in my gums and I need a tooth pulled. Money is tight.

You have to be able to release yourself from those old feelings because they are not going away. Its just eating at you. One day its gonna be too much to handle. I think you need to concentrate on you and what makes you happy. Take it day by day. You will get there.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 8:46pm

To help me rise out of the darkness, o concentrated on what I have to be thankful.

Any time that person came into my thoughts, I changed them and thought about my thankful list. It helped so much.

Hopeless_stepmom's picture

Submitted by Hopeless_stepmom on Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:03pm

I also have been feeling the same way lately. I do care for my SS7 dearly but the BM is a different story. She is on a mission to make my life a living hell. i hate her more than anything and she hates me because I do things for her son.. makes no sense. She is a nightmare and her latest is trashing me in court making up lies about me ...im soo hurt and my husband and myself have been fighting like crazy about it. So after being a member of this site for a few weeks ive learned something new. DISENGAGE... let dh do things for SS ...eventually you will begin to feel better because you wont be so wrapped up in the drama of her. This is what I have began to do and its only been a few days so far so good!