seriously? How hard is it to stick to the dang schedule?
Apparently, it's too hard.
DH agreed that, let's make a schedule and then tell her, look, special stuff comes up, if it's not on your days, too bad! Plan for it. If you have a monthly schedule, then you can do that. There have been MANY family occasions that SS9 has missed due to him being at the Dark Side, and we say nothing. It's just, hey, he's with Darth Vader. Part of life for a kid/family with divorces.
So, he let me help make a schedule. IT HAS NOT ONCE IN THE PAST 6 WEEKS GONE AS PLANNED.
So irritated.
I really hope she goes to jail over her arrest. Saw in the paper and clerk of court she is pleading not guilty and wants a trial by jury.
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For the BM we deal with, its
For the BM we deal with, its exteremly difficult. . .in 2 1/2 years, there hasn't been one month without last minute changes for the last 2 1/2 years. At one point, she demanded the schedule be posted in our home (as she did at hers) and at the end of the month, one of the kids asked why we had them so many days. She went and grabbed the calendar (which showed a 50/50 split) and asked why mommy didn't come to pick them up. DH knew why (he tries to keep the kids out of this kind of stuff), but told them they needed to ask mommy. Of course, she lied and said that the calendar was wrong and that daddy kept them on her days.
Needless to say, we don't post the calendars anymore.
There is a court order in place that has a specific monthly plan mapped out for each month. If your DH is serious about that, maybe a mediation or a meeting with attorneys on record may be an option?
Gah, I hate that crap. BM3
Gah, I hate that crap. BM3 used to think she had to have SD5 every time there was anything going on with her side of the family. DH finally had to start telling her that she needed to let her family know what her schedule was with SD5 if they wanted SD5 included. If they continued to plan stuff for times when SD5 was with us, she wasn't going to be there!
I have my own kids, and DH and I have kids together. He has FULL custody of his other kids, and they have minimal visitation with their mothers. The way I see it, if they aren't here, they miss whatever is going on. Oh well. That's what happens in families sometimes. Everyone isn't here for everything.
My darlin, you have 3 bms and
My darlin, you have 3 bms and 3 sets of skids to deal with? God bless your heart!! I hope your husband knows how lucky - how BLESSED he is to have you!!
It is not difficult at all
It is not difficult at all ..... if one side or the other does not manipulate. The problem is that the schedule is the easiest way to manipulate the blended family opposition and that is what most low intelligence morons try to do. So, it is up to the other side to kick ass on the schedule each and every time it is violated or manipulated.
Once you get her used to the brutal beatings with the rolled up CO/Supplemental Rules/State Laws then she will comply. She will bitch, she will moan but she will comply.
No deviation, no discussion, no negotiation ... she follows the visitation schedule outlined in the CO or she feels the pain. If there is no specific schedule in the CO then you go back to court and get one set by the judge. Regardless of what it is having a COd schedule is the best tool for managing the behavior of the oppostion. Even if the schedule is decidedly in their favor it is often the fact that they can not be in complete control that gives YOU the control over them.
We tried for the first few years of our Custody/Visitation/Support CO to work with the SpermClan on their visitation adn other elements of the relationship with my son (SS now 19). When we gave an inch they tried to take a mile. Eventually we quit discussing and started beating the shit out of themw ith the rolled up CO. That they understood and for the last 14yrs of the 17 year duration of the CO we were in control and they did what we told them to when we told them to.
It is reasonable to be reasonble when the other side is reasonable. If they are incapable of reasonableness then kicking ass is the only option left and it worked well for us.
Good luck.