Ok.... So history will repeat itself is what I have decided when it comes to BM. BM's Bm is actually very much like BM we are dealing with. They are both very controlling and say such mean things to others.
After careful observation of history on my journal of facts and contacts. I noticed that this PAS began when my Hubby and I got married. No matter what we are going to deal with the BM because of the children.

So my question is do I as the step mom step back and simply have little to nothing to do with SK's. Or do I continue to show love to them and let them know they are apart of my life.
Currently neither of them will talk to me. One is 8 ss. And one is 11 sd. They both are very difficult when with us on visits. SS is pyscially abusive to us and throws things and yells. SD is very demanding and says if we dont do certian things she will not come again and will tell her mom.
The sad thing is I believe the kids are soo stinkin confused they are not sure what is happening.
BM says she is doing nothing to tant relationship with the kids and my husband she says she encourages it.
However, if she tells the kids not to tell thier dad anything that is going on in thier lives it shows the kids that thier dad is not good enough to know what goes on in thier lives except when they are visiting us.

Such a bad spot. And at times I wonder why moms like this act this way. I have a two year old and I would never never do that. Every child deserves to have two parents.