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Alientation? Whats best for the kids?

mmm1's picture

Submitted by mmm1 on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 6:45pm

Ok so we know BM is alientating the children from thier father.
Courts are not holding BM accountable, the ss7 sd11 are more angry and upset then they have ever been.
As thier SM is it better to just let them go? Let thier BM have her way and we will see the children when they are 18.
Less stress for the kids, and less stress and financial burden? It is causing health problems for us, and my 2yr old daughter.
Or is it worth it to fight like HELL to save my ss and sd from the hell they are in and then get them the psychological help they are needing to save them?
Has anyone felt this way? Had this problem?

Comments

mmm1's picture

Submitted by mmm1 on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 6:52pm

Our cs wouldnt go up. They live 450 miles away we get to see them maybe.... 6 weeks a year. It is soo hard.

FedUpFallon's picture

Submitted by FedUpFallon on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 8:37pm

My DH's 1stExW alienated his two kids from him. (SD23 this month SS24) In their divorce BM accused his mother (my MiL) a sexually abusing their son. The court ordered everyone to a psychologist. Ya! that went great! The Court appointed psychologist put in her report that the boy was never abused by DH's mother that the only abuse was the psychological abuse from the BM, and that BM had already successfully terminated DH relationship with both kids. Her recommendation was that he not enforce his visitation with the kids as that only made the psychological abuse worse on the children. And that the best DH could hope for was a reconciliation with the SKids when they became adults. DH has never gotten the reconciliation he desperately hoped for- all he has gotten is two adult kids that "mommy" has convinced them that daddy owes them. They do not care about the court papers. When I read that report I thought I was going to have a heart attack! That was about 18 years ago in California. I can't believe that the courts let her keep custody! All they are is the alleged by product from my husbands first marriage!
Don't stop fighting!

primin's picture

Submitted by primin on Tue, 02/08/2011 - 8:03pm

Same thing here. SS finally moved out of house after BM had him falsely reporting child abuse on DH. We have been in and out of court, my DH was arrested on DV charges by ex-wife during their divorce (it was dismissed) but she now has her son perpetrating the same false reporting. It's like they use the court and/or the police to terrorize us. Last hearing the judge FINALLY told BM to stop filing things and granted our request to have SS move from 50/50 custody to full time with his BM. We couldn't take any more chances that he would allege something stupid that someone would believe.

It has broken DH's heart to not have SS here. I have to admit I am so relieved that the drama is over. BM just filed to have child support ordered, even though she owes DH over $6k in fraudulent child expenses billing. Soo... court now ordering mediation vs. another hearing.

I don't know what to tell you. On one hand, DH just is hoping for a relationship with SS in a few years, but he's missing his son terribly right now. He won't even return a phone call or email. On the other hand, it's such a relief for everyone else in the house. That poor kid was a giant black cloud over everyone in the house. Also, I don't think DH will ever have a relationship with his son. BM is teaching her son to be a crazy lunatic just like her. I think DH has lost his son permanently. I'm just afraid she's going to start on SD11 now.