OK bare with me this is a long long story. But in order to get to the current questions knowing the entire story is very important.
In 1999 my husband met bm. She was currently 5 months pregnant. The bf was not in the picture. In December 1999 bm and my husband married. In Feb 2000 sd was born. In May 2000 my husband adopted sd. Feb 2001 ss was born. June 2003 ss was born. March 2004 bm had affair and husband moved out of home. June 2004 ss turns one and bm admits to being pregnant tries to tell my hubby it is his. Sept 2004 hubby finds out that bm had affair with sd biological father.
Jan 2005 divorce final. 10 days later bm and sd biofather married. Feb 2005 bm moves children 450 miles away. Alientation begins.
Oct 2006 My husband and I marry. BM refuses to allow husband to know about ss being in hospital four times for pneumonia. Other schildren have medical and school problems and bm will not allow my husband to be apart of thier lives. It continues as far as not allowing visitation. We file for modification of divorce papers in November 2008. Mediation occurs March 2009. July 2009 step son is trageically killed in a farming accident while on summer visit on my parents farm. We pay for entire funeral, and travel for ss body to the home city the children live in. We tried to get him barried locally as that is where both familes extended family and friends live. However, bm refused and we didnt not want to fight.
Feb 2010 bm filed federal law suit against my husband and my father for wrongful death. June 2010 our insurance companies settled out of court and paid bm money. Oct 2010 birth mother refused visitation. Oct 28th 2010 in court for order to show cause for contempt, which we initated. BM refused to follow all orders and at review hearing in Jan 2011 she did not appear and refused to follow orders judge again gave her. Two days after court we were served papers for jurisdiction to be moved to her state and city as she stated in best interest of children. Court has ordered her to produce tax records so child support can be evaulated she refused and said she should not have to and that she wants my husbands child support to be reevaluated without her income.
Refuses to allow children to talk on phone. And when they do it is on speaker and she is coaching kids what to say.
Nov 2009 stepfather was viewed inappropratly touching ss, hands were down ss's pants and playing. It was reported to CPS. However the state CPS will not release documents to my husband. Attorney General for state states that a form has to be filled out. However they will not supply the form. Our attorney has tried everything to include a subpeona.
2010 children told us that ss age 7 is still showering with stepfather and ss does not know how to bath himself and with us asks my husband to wash him. As he says he doesnt know how.

HELP... What do we do?