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dreading the birth of my daughter

midnyt's picture

Submitted by midnyt on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 12:59am

*Sigh*

I dont even know where to start with this. I am sincerely dreading giving birth to my daughter, (I have 2 BS'S with my exH) I am due in 2 weeks and 2 days, if i make it that far, I just know that SO will want SS to come visit and see her. I havent seen the little punk in about 4 months and have absolutely no desire to see him at all and I will not have my daughter used as a tool to get SS to come and spend time here. Right or wrong, this is how I feel. Also I am not at all interested in FMiL forming any sort of relationship with DD either. I have seen FMiL twice in the 8.5 months I have been pregnant and the first time I saw her she didnt know. So i have really only seen her once since she was informed about the baby, that was Christmas eve as she just couldnt make time to see SO on Christmas day. I would really like to tell her to get fucked, that considering the way she treats her only child (my SO) that she isnt welcome in our home and can pretty much kiss any relationship with BD good bye.

Can I do this?? I cant can I........... Sad

Comments

princessandthepee's picture

Submitted by princessandthepee on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 1:38am

Your angst is so real. There is so much of the way the relationships between all of you in the future are going to be set a the time of the birth of your daughter. You seem to want to make sure you do this in the best right possible. It might help to know the ages of all of the kids (except, one can gather, of course the age of the little one in you)

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 8:02am

i understand. i felt much the same way when the birth of bs4 was approaching. sd was 15. she lived about an hour away. i prayed constantly for her to not be here when i went into labor. i went to the hospital on a thursday, so i thought i was safe. fdh called her at school to tell her i was going to the hospital. she wanted him to come get her! yeah, leave me there and maybe miss the birth to go get her stupid ass! he told her he could not leave. i was floored when he told me that bm was bringing her. bm never did things like that. ever. and i was hoping she would stay true to form. but no, she had to be "nice" and bring her, so i had her nosy ass right outside my door the whole time i was laboring with her ear up to it! (bd told me about that later). as soon as i pushed him out, the door opens and her ugly head is poking in. i was too tired to think anything, but looking back, it pisses me off.

we don't have to care that these people are related to our children. that was a very stressful, painful, and exhausting experience and she was the last person i wanted there! no reason why she couldn't have waited til the weekend to see bs rather than have her head right there front and center while i was in the hospital.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 2:26pm

Your feelings are understandable, however at the same time SS and FMIL are a part of SOs life and therefore might or might not want a rs with your child ,because SO is her dad .I know it is hard to relax in your situation ,but stressing about how bad it could be does not help you and the baby right now.Also it must be frustrating that SS and FMIL are annoying or not caring enough.

midnyt's picture

Submitted by midnyt on Wed, 01/23/2013 - 5:35am

Thanks guys for all of your advice and support, I value each and every one. Cheri, I am not exactly sure myself why FMiL favours BM over SO. All she will ever say is that she does what she can for BM for SS sake, which pisses SO off no end. We always seem to come 2nd with her I don't know why. I did originally think it was me she didn't like. She hasn't made any effort to see us other than Christmas Eve the whole time I have been pregnant, hasn't even asked if there is anything we need for the baby. But all of a sudden now that the due date is looming she wants to play GM of the year??
My obs has taken me off my clexane (blood thinning meds) he assures me there is no danger to the baby but given my history of blood clots I pray to god he is right.
I am trying to let it go for both mine and the baby's sake but I am finding it a lot harder than I thought it would be. I am not normally an angry person, his family seem to bring out the worst in me. or maybe its hormones??
I know they are his family and no family is perfect but I just don't get any of them. SO has told me about his relationship with BM and while I have told him that he prob has no one to blame but himself I don't get the lack of family loyalty, from FMiL at least. SS is a mummy's boy so that explains a bit, I also suspect there is a certain amount of PAS going on from BM.
IDK. I can see lots of milestones coming up. How do I get through them?