Summer vacation, hotel room, and SS9
Hi all, i am just wondering, when you guys go on vacation with your skids, how do you handle accomodation?
My bf wants to book double room, which means one bed for us, and one helpbed for ss9, in the same room, in the same space. Basically means no sexual activities during the entire vacation.
I am not thrilled. I wanted room with at least somewhat separate sleeping arrangements. He claims the kid would be too scared to sleep in the separate room in the place that he is not used to.
I am beyond shitty at this moment.
How did you handle this? I dont want whining bitching kid in my space 24/7.
We also wanted 2 week vacation like last year (we went without the kid bc he didnt want to go) but now my bf is saying lets just go for a week. The kid will be bored in the evenings and all he will do is bitch that he is bored.
Great. Now instead of enjoying my summer, i am gonna spend a week in a hotel room with the kid next to us.
Whats wrong with this picture? How do i gently tell him to fuck off and get somewhat separated rooms??
EDIT: FYI i am not talking about two separate hotel rooms, i am talking about one family room, one entry door, only a bit of privacy in there, like appartment room, half wall divider..etc
- meneran's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Awe, he is too young for two
Awe, he is too young for two rooms. You'll probably end up taking turns sleeping with daddy too (if you get the room with 2 double beds)! We have a 9 year old and that's how it is.
Sorry, you have a guy with a kid, and this is part of what comes with it.
Perhaps take the other week you were going to have as a couple vacation. You got lucky last year when the kid didn't want to go.
He is 9, at the time of
He is 9, at the time of vacation he is gonna be 10. How is this too young for a room with dividers? Like, it doesnt need to have doors, just some wall, or something, which separates us a little bit.
There will be no taking turns sleeping with dad, i guarantee you that much
Wow. That sounds kind of
Wow. That sounds kind of harsh. When we went on vacation, the kids slept in the bed next to us. It's just part of the deal of having young kids. Like pp said why not take another week with just the two of you.
Why is it harsh? When he is
Why is it harsh? When he is with us he sleeps in his own room too, and we keep the doors open. Why would it suddenly change if we are on a holiday? I dont mean extra room with separate entry doors, i meant more like family room with a little privacy for adults. He is not a baby though.
We live in europe, and the
We live in europe, and the rooms are nothing like american big double rooms.. they are quite small hence i want a family room with like living room-bedroom arangement. One entry door with 2 somewhat separated sleeping areas. Dont need door between them, just a little privacy so we dont sleep in the beds that are next to each other exactly.
As for the bathroom, thats good idea, but i prefer bed more then the dirty bathroom floor
We either rent a two bedroom
We either rent a two bedroom cottage or a family suite when we go away.
I just meant the way you
I just meant the way you talked about the kid was a little harsh.
Yea the reality is harsh. The
Yea the reality is harsh. The kid is ok when he is entertained. As soon as he deems the entertainment isnt up to his standards, you get a whining 9yo telling you how bored he is, how he wants something to do, and when you ask him well what would you want, he doesnt know. Meaning that you should figure out magically something for his entertainemnt.
That is one tough way to spend your hard earned holiday. I work more then 40h a week, and I deserve some rest too.
The last time DH and I went
The last time DH and I went on vacation, we took SD-then-11 to some theme parks.
Don't get me started on BM's shenanians that cost us the loss of half of our vacation...
We got a 1 bedroom suite with a kitchen and pull-out bed in the living room area.
I totally agree with you that you don't need a tween in the same bedroom as you with nowhere to go to escape the skid.
I agree, I wouldn't want to
I agree, I wouldn't want to share a room with my skids either - they go to bed at 8pm and get up at 6am, which definitely does not fit in with my sleeping pattern when I'm on holiday! I also want my privacy. The rare times we have taken them anywhere, we've had to book 2 hotel rooms - I'm in one and DH is in the other with them. We've only ever done it for 1 or 2 nights at a time, but if we went away for longer we'd have to go in a cottage or apartment with separate bedrooms so DH and I get some privacy. I don't see why your skid can't manage in a separate sleeping area - it's not as if you're expecting him to stay in a different hotel room on his own, and if it were me I'd book the holiday somewhere where there's loads of kids entertainment to keep him busy - I don't know about you but I have much lower tolerance levels towards whining, attention seeking skids than I did my own daughter and the more peace and quiet I get from them, the better. You work all year, you deserve a holiday too!
I get what you are
I get what you are saying..It's no different then him sleeping in his own bedroom at your house. It's a 2 bedroom hotel room or little apartment..it's not two separate hotel rooms...so I do agree with you..two bedrooms is the way to go....
We went on vacation the past 2yrs with SD and she was in our room and let me tell you it was no fun at all..she was miserable, fought with all of her cousins and was just difficult. So for Christmas my husband surprised me with a 13 day cruise for him and I..I was so happy..my SD wont be but it is what it is and for the past 8mths or so she just doesn't appreciate what we do for her so I guess it's our time...
Z
How do i gently suggest that
How do i gently suggest that we take one week for just two of us? He wants to take 2 weeks of vacation, and spend one week away (or maybe 10 days) which means we wont be able to have that extra one week alone. Cant take 3 weeks of holidays straight...
Well I would tell him: "Of
Well I would tell him:
"Of course your relationship with your son is very important, but your relationship with me is a important and we need to spend some time away from everything just the two of us."
So I would suggest one week of family time with his son and then one romantic week for the two of you..
see what he says...let us know how it goes....Z
The problem with this is that
The problem with this is that we only have his son EOW. We havent had him more then 3 days in a row since I came to live with my bf.
BM wants him to take the kid for 3 weeks for summer. We cant take so much time off from work and we cant go alone without the kid if the kid is with us for 3 weeks. Thats the problem.
Even though the kid is EOW with us, it doesnt mean that i in a way need to pay for that (like ok i have him every second weekend, so i can spend my holidays on him no biggie). You know what I mean?
We have my SD EOW as well..so
We have my SD EOW as well..so I know exactly how you feel. If you've only had him 3 days in a row and his BM wants your bf to take him for 3 weeks...that's going to be a problem for everyone as he is used to being at his BM's house..hmmm this could be interesting...
That said your BF needs to tell BM he will take him for 1 week only...unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it. He is the father and needs to deal with this but he should respect your wants and needs...talk to him and see how he plans on handling this and make him very aware of your wants as well....
Z
The biggest problem emerging
The biggest problem emerging that I can foresee is that after 3 days on holiday, the kid is gonna start bitching and whining that he is bored, that he hates it, that he hates the food, that he has nothing to do, and that he wants to go home. And he will end up being general pain in the ass.
Next time bf brings up holiday plans im gonna inform him about me wanting to take a week with him only.
If all else fails, im gonna inform him that i cannot take days off when he plans on having a kid with him. They can either go somewhere alone, or he can go with me somewhere after the school holidays
I agree with you..tell him
I agree with you..tell him you want a week alone with him and for sure tell him you cannot take holidays during the time his son is with him...
As for kids saying they are bored, blah blah blah...that drives me nuts..when I was that age I would not of dared to say I'm bored..no way..we were respectful and did not expect our parents to entertain us. What has happened to this genenation of kids..my gosh it's terrible this sense of entitlement that they feel..it's sickening actually...
Z
We have never vacationed with
We have never vacationed with ss. Dh brought up the idea of going on a vacation with all of us and ss this summer. I told him he can do what he did last summer and take his son on a mini vacation without us. I told him it could be 'their thing' where father/son spend time just the two of them. He went for the idea. That also means we still have at least one week for dh to take me and our kids on a vacation. Vacations should be fun and relaxing. Nothing about being with ss is fun or relaxing for me. I say let dh take ss on a trip without you then use he second week for the two of you.
oh Tx mommy of 3..I do like
oh Tx mommy of 3..I do like your idea very much...Z
I would love to do that, but
I would love to do that, but as I said the problem is that his son will be with us for 2 or 3 weeks in the summer. My bf cant take that time off plus take a week for just us. We cannot have so much holiday time. So he cant afford timewise to do this.
I don't understand why he
I don't understand why he needs to take off the entire time you have his son. If he has to work and can't keep his son for 3 weeks then he can't. My dh works and we get ss a month in the summer. Ss stays with me. If I had to work, though, then ss would stay with mil or he'd be put in a summer camp or summer program while dh worked. Can dh not do that so his entire vacation isn't spent on his son? My dh would go crazy if his entire vacation for the year was just spent watching his kid instead of using it as actual vacation time. If he can't keep his kid because of work then he should tell bm he can't do it for three weeks but can do one. And from experience, ss will be miserable. When we got married all of a sudden dh wanted to keep ss a month in the summer (like he is allowed to). Ss had never spent a month away from his mom and dh always worked and could never keep him he full month. So that summer was miserable for him and me. He missed his mom and was bored. He was about 8/9 at he time. Even now ss struggles staying with us long periods of time. So maybe talk to your SO about not keepin him that long.
We always put sd in an
We always put sd in an adjoining room.when she was younger we brought BM's nanny and paid her to sleep in SDs room with her.I worked overtime taking on more projects than I could normally handle to afford that little luxury but it was worth it.
In ten years, I have NEVER
In ten years, I have NEVER had a vacation with SS. It was hard to do that and no one notice that SS was the reason, but there is no way on Gods green earth that I would share the same hotel room with him. He is a little to creepy for that. Espcially back when he was getting in trouble at school for sexual harrasment. Bleck!!