Yesterday was horrible. I had let myself slip so far behind in school and I was LOADED with assignments, so I started them early on in the day, took a break and came back to them later on. I was getting extremely frustrated (I still am) with Algebra. I wasn't understanding why I excelled at it in high school but not now, in college. amongst all the frustration of my homework, crying babies, and anxiety, I was dreading the next day (today). I decided to utilize the online tutoring my school has for math, so instead of prepping dinner, I sat and basically got my ass handed to me by the tutor. They said stuff like, 'how did you get this far?' and 'Solving equations is really basic.' Which REALLY upset me.
So while H and SD 8 arrived yesterday evening, they walked in and immediately sat at the table, ready to eat. -I created this by having dinner ready as soon as they get in.- So I turned to them and said, "dinner is no where near done because I was working on my assignments." Knealing down to get a bowl, opened the cabinet door so no one could see me, I just exploded with tears. Of course the dog, my daughter, my SD and husband all let me know they were there wanting to know what was wrong. H told everyone to go in the other room while he hugged me. I told him how upset I was about school, the stupid tutor, and how hard it is here on Saturdays without him. I let him take over dinner while I continued with the homework.

Then...SD(8) comes to me at the computer and hands me a piece of paper.
On this piece of paper reads, 'to: "Mediocrity" I'm sorry you work so hard for us so we should do the same. We all love you so much. <3 from: SD'

My point? The point is, that no matter what the hell you go through as a parent, student, step-parent, whatever, as much as it seems as though no one gets it, no one appreciates it, they DO, they just dont say it when you want them to.

For years now I have worried about SD's bad side rubbing off on my daughter. Some of it has already, but THIS is the stuff I WANT to rub off on my children.
These kind of times are what gets me through all the shady stuff SD has done in the past. I've always tried to put myself in her position, see things her way, and in turn I end up reevaluating myself.
Theres no doubt about it that SD has a heart and as tough as her life may be, she never runs out of love to share.
I hate to say it but, she rubs off on me as well.

If I dont write before the holidays, all of you enjoy them to the highest level.