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THANKS

marthagender's picture

Submitted by marthagender on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:04pm

thanks to all those who read my blog. your advice is helping me keep my sanity. things are not prefect but at least everyone is getting along for now. i hope it gets better.thanks.

oh and one more thing, if you ask you ask your dh what is his number one priority, what should he say?

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Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:13pm

I'm so happy for you that things are getting better! One day at a time!!

Although I will say to you right now... be careful of that question!! In my opinion, it's a trick question.

You may see some responses like... it should be you, or your marriage or your relationship...

True, it should be. BUT and this is a BIG AS A BM BUTT...

The reality is that you may not get that answer because your DH may not be thinking along those lines. He may say whatever is bothering him for the moment (like work, or money) or he may say what he feels is his immediate responsibility as opposed to his long term relationship. (Ie... he may say, raising his child because he only has 18 years to do that, as opposed to something with you because he looks at you for the long haul... he has you in it "forever".)

It's a trick question because if he answers it wrong - and everyone agrees that you and your marriage should be number 1 - life doesn't always work that way.

I put in another post... that sometimes, when a marriage is rough, it's the commitment to each other that will get you through. And sometimes, when you are not committed to the PERSON, you can still be committed to the commitment of marriage and that's what gets you through.

It's all good on paper (and on screen)... but sometimes, being a good spouse means taking the back seat once in a while.

Be careful of the question and be careful of your reaction if his answer does not meet your expectations.

marthagender's picture

Submitted by marthagender on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:27pm

thank you very nuch STICK your response is not always what i want to hear but its always the truth and the reality. i think i just need to grow up a bit and stop looking for problems, becuase im the only one who ends up being mad. i guess i have to work on me. thanks.

Abigail's picture

Submitted by Abigail on Thu, 07/09/2009 - 2:48pm

My husband is a Christian. He puts God first and then me. Skids next. BM not on the list. If he didn't do this, we would have never survived.

DH is a way better person than I am.

"I know God has a wonderful plan for me, I just wish He would tell me what it is"