Is my relationship doomed?
Wow, this last month or so has really been a rough one for me. I've got a few reoccurring issues with DH that I don't know how to fix and if or when they will get better...
Number one,
I feel like he is too hard on my BD4 - I know a lot of you guys have a hard time dealing with your skids, but they way he interacts with her is not how a "father figure" would react to a child. He acts like she is just a constant annoyance to him. My daughter is my #1 priority, considering it is up to me to give her a happy, LOVING environment. How do I handle that??? I don't expect him to use the baby talk he uses with his daughter, or for him to get all mushy and teary eyed like he does with his daughter. But the least he could do is be pleasant!
Number two,
It's funny how my daughter and I get to deal with his NASTY attitude for 12 days, but when our EOW visitation comes around its all SUNSHINE AND ROSES! And I am supposed to pretend like everything is lovely. I'm OVER that.
Number three,
I love his daughter. I love her like my own. I am starting to HATE the fact that he can't do the same.
Number four,
He is a WUSS when it comes to BM. Again, I get to deal with the nasty attitude all the time, and he bows to her.
Number five,
The above mentioned issues really make me feel that he doesn't care about my happiness.
Is there any hope?
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I forgot to add another issue.
Also, I am always pleasant to BM, and I let them handle there business together. I have not once, in the history of our relationship, overstepped my boundaries. On the other hand, he can't even look at my EX without getting angry. If I ever have to talk to my EX about my daughter my DH is always in the background saying something nasty. It is not making for an easy, positive, co-parenting environment for me.
this is
a tuffy ----- sounds like your BF has some insecurities.....and a bit of jealousy..... one thing you can count on --- things will not get better once you marry him... it may be time to make your pros and cons list... if you are truly unhappy and so is your BD 50% or maybe 100% for that matter -- if bf is an ass when his daughter is not there and peaches and cream when she is there --- i would be pissed about both..... what qualities do you admire about him?
I don't admire much of anything about him anymore.
All of the issues I have with our relationship definitely outweigh anything good we have. I can't even look past those issues to remember anything good right now. He used to make me feel loved and special, and now I feel like he doesn't want to do anything, unless it benefits him. I feel like he has turned into a very selfish person. I have full custody of my daughter - she goes with her dad EOW. Today is the beginning of our EOW visitation with his daughter. I'm sure he'll be sweet as pie today! :barf:
How long have you guys been together?
I only ask because in the beginning BF would get all attitude like when is kids weren't around. After a while he got used to it. It was like he felt "guilty" for having fun without him.
It could be that over time things will die down and get better. Have you talk to him about this?